The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lisa there?

Random: Yeah, just a minute … Hello?

TMD: Hi, Lisa, I’m calling from The Michigan Daily and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random Student Interview.

R: Really?

TMD: Yes. First question: how was your break?

R: Wonderful.

TMD: What did you do?

R: I went snowboarding and visited my family.

TMD: Where did you go snowboarding?

R: In Mt. Holly.

TMD: Where’s that?

R: It’s in Michigan.

TMD: Cool. Now on to the actual interview. Who was your favorite reindeer other than Rudolph?

R: Blitzen.

TMD: Why Blitzen and not Donner or Dasher?

R: I’d have to say because of football.

TMD: Oh, I get it! That’s clever!

R: Yes, it is.

TMD: In the “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” song, why is Monopoly a reindeer game?

R: Haha, I guess because it’s traditional.

TMD: But why wouldn’t they be playing like Clue or 13 Dead End Drive?

R: That would mess up the flow of the song if they were playing 13 Dead End Drive.

TMD: Yes, that is true. Do you like to make snow angels?

R: Yes.

TMD: How come everytime I do it, mine always look like a dumb-looking distorted circle?

R: Well, that happens. You have to not bring your arms so high above your head.

TMD: Ah, ok. Did you buy books yet?

R: I’m going tomorrow.

TMD: Are you going to Shaman Drum?

R: That’s the first place I’m going.

TMD: Do you ever laugh at the people standing outside in the snow?

R: No, because I like the snow.

TMD: Yeah, but they have to wait outside in the snow waiting to get in.

R: That’s unfortunate for them.

TMD: Yep. What was your New Year’s resolution?

R: Um … to drink more water.

TMD: What did you drink before?

R: Soda … and juice.

TMD: What’s your favorite kind of juice?

R: Apple.

TMD: You don’t like anything like cran-raspberry?

R: No, apple is better.

TMD: Do you like the Welch’s grape juice girl?

R: She’s kind of scary.

TMD: What?

R: She’s scary, and she’s kind of weird.

TMD: What’s weird about her?

R: She has a weird accent and … she’s just weird.

TMD: Wow. That’s great. What did you do for New Year’s?

R: Hung out with my boyfriend.

TMD: Oh, so you had someone to kiss at midnight.

R: Yes, I did.

TMD: Well, I didn’t.

R: That’s sad.

TMD: Yeah, maybe next year.

R: Yeah.

TMD: Did you see that Carson Daly was hosting a New Year’s special?

R: No, I didn’t see that.

TMD: Why do you think he’s hosting a show of any kind?

R: Probably because of “TRL.”

TMD: Did you watch “TRL?”

R: No.

TMD: Why not?

R: It’s a terrible, boring show. I’m not a fan of MTV. It’s too mainstream.

TMD: I see. What “Home Alone” was better: the first one or the second one?

R: The first one.

TMD: Why?

R: Originals are always better.

TMD: But what about “Rocky IV?” That was better than “Rocky.”

R: I never saw it.

TMD: What about “Ghostbusters II?” That was way better than the first one.

R: Well, I’m a fan of Slimer, so I assume the original was better.

TMD: Why did you like Slimer?

R: Essentially because he was green. It’s my favorite color.

TMD: So you like green grass?

R: Yes.

TMD: Is green tea your favorite tea?

R: Yes, green tea is better.

TMD: Cool. So you said the original “Home Alone” was better. Why did every “Home Alone” movie have a creepy old person in it?

R: That was a little creepy. I think they were trying to prove that common childish assumptions were wrong and old people aren’t that scared, but sometimes they can be.

TMD: Why did you say that last part?

R: Well, because you tell your kids not to talk to strangers.

TMD: Wait, so it’s not OK for your kids to talk to strangers, but it’s OK for them to ask for help if they were left home alone?

R: It’s OK in movies.

TMD: Because movies aren’t real?

R: Exactly.

TMD: Wow, that was very interesting. What is the worse candy bar: Chunky or Payday?

R: Chunky.

TMD: Why?

R: I don’t like raisins.

TMD: Fair enough. What’s the worst job you could possibly have?

R: Garbage collector because you smell bad and that’s bad. Any job where you smell bad is bad. It’s better to work in a bakery because you can smell like cookies.

TMD: Haha, cool. Last question: did you sleep with a stuffed animal?

R: Yes.

TMD: What was its name?

R: Potato.

TMD: What kind of animal was it?

R: A teddy bear.

TMD: Aww, I used to sleep with a bear and its name was AJ Bear. What’s the better teddy bear name: Teddy or Bear-Bear?

R: They’re both pretty bad.

TMD: Let’s say you had to choose.

R: Bear-Bear. It’s more unique.

TMD: What was your first word?

R: You know, I really don’t know.

TMD: Well, maybe you should look into that.

R: I should.

TMD: Cool. Is there anything else you would like to add?

R: Not off the top of my head.

TMD: All right. Thanks for doing this. Look for it in Weekend.




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