The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Lisa there?
Random: Yeah, just a minute … Hello?
TMD: Hi, Lisa, I’m calling from The Michigan Daily and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random Student Interview.
R: Really?
TMD: Yes. First question: how was your break?
R: Wonderful.
TMD: What did you do?
R: I went snowboarding and visited my family.
TMD: Where did you go snowboarding?
R: In Mt. Holly.
TMD: Where’s that?
R: It’s in Michigan.
TMD: Cool. Now on to the actual interview. Who was your favorite reindeer other than Rudolph?
R: Blitzen.
TMD: Why Blitzen and not Donner or Dasher?
R: I’d have to say because of football.
TMD: Oh, I get it! That’s clever!
R: Yes, it is.
TMD: In the “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” song, why is Monopoly a reindeer game?
R: Haha, I guess because it’s traditional.
TMD: But why wouldn’t they be playing like Clue or 13 Dead End Drive?
R: That would mess up the flow of the song if they were playing 13 Dead End Drive.
TMD: Yes, that is true. Do you like to make snow angels?
R: Yes.
TMD: How come everytime I do it, mine always look like a dumb-looking distorted circle?
R: Well, that happens. You have to not bring your arms so high above your head.
TMD: Ah, ok. Did you buy books yet?
R: I’m going tomorrow.
TMD: Are you going to Shaman Drum?
R: That’s the first place I’m going.
TMD: Do you ever laugh at the people standing outside in the snow?
R: No, because I like the snow.
TMD: Yeah, but they have to wait outside in the snow waiting to get in.
R: That’s unfortunate for them.
TMD: Yep. What was your New Year’s resolution?
R: Um … to drink more water.
TMD: What did you drink before?
R: Soda … and juice.
TMD: What’s your favorite kind of juice?
R: Apple.
TMD: You don’t like anything like cran-raspberry?
R: No, apple is better.
TMD: Do you like the Welch’s grape juice girl?
R: She’s kind of scary.
TMD: What?
R: She’s scary, and she’s kind of weird.
TMD: What’s weird about her?
R: She has a weird accent and … she’s just weird.
TMD: Wow. That’s great. What did you do for New Year’s?
R: Hung out with my boyfriend.
TMD: Oh, so you had someone to kiss at midnight.
R: Yes, I did.
TMD: Well, I didn’t.
R: That’s sad.
TMD: Yeah, maybe next year.
R: Yeah.
TMD: Did you see that Carson Daly was hosting a New Year’s special?
R: No, I didn’t see that.
TMD: Why do you think he’s hosting a show of any kind?
R: Probably because of “TRL.”
TMD: Did you watch “TRL?”
R: No.
TMD: Why not?
R: It’s a terrible, boring show. I’m not a fan of MTV. It’s too mainstream.
TMD: I see. What “Home Alone” was better: the first one or the second one?
R: The first one.
TMD: Why?
R: Originals are always better.
TMD: But what about “Rocky IV?” That was better than “Rocky.”
R: I never saw it.
TMD: What about “Ghostbusters II?” That was way better than the first one.
R: Well, I’m a fan of Slimer, so I assume the original was better.
TMD: Why did you like Slimer?
R: Essentially because he was green. It’s my favorite color.
TMD: So you like green grass?
R: Yes.
TMD: Is green tea your favorite tea?
R: Yes, green tea is better.
TMD: Cool. So you said the original “Home Alone” was better. Why did every “Home Alone” movie have a creepy old person in it?
R: That was a little creepy. I think they were trying to prove that common childish assumptions were wrong and old people aren’t that scared, but sometimes they can be.
TMD: Why did you say that last part?
R: Well, because you tell your kids not to talk to strangers.
TMD: Wait, so it’s not OK for your kids to talk to strangers, but it’s OK for them to ask for help if they were left home alone?
R: It’s OK in movies.
TMD: Because movies aren’t real?
R: Exactly.
TMD: Wow, that was very interesting. What is the worse candy bar: Chunky or Payday?
R: Chunky.
TMD: Why?
R: I don’t like raisins.
TMD: Fair enough. What’s the worst job you could possibly have?
R: Garbage collector because you smell bad and that’s bad. Any job where you smell bad is bad. It’s better to work in a bakery because you can smell like cookies.
TMD: Haha, cool. Last question: did you sleep with a stuffed animal?
R: Yes.
TMD: What was its name?
R: Potato.
TMD: What kind of animal was it?
R: A teddy bear.
TMD: Aww, I used to sleep with a bear and its name was AJ Bear. What’s the better teddy bear name: Teddy or Bear-Bear?
R: They’re both pretty bad.
TMD: Let’s say you had to choose.
R: Bear-Bear. It’s more unique.
TMD: What was your first word?
R: You know, I really don’t know.
TMD: Well, maybe you should look into that.
R: I should.
TMD: Cool. Is there anything else you would like to add?
R: Not off the top of my head.
TMD: All right. Thanks for doing this. Look for it in Weekend.