Your enjoyment of “Queen of the Damned” may hinge on your reaction to the following: Hong Kong -style martial arts vampire fight during a goth-metal concert. Are you drooling? Did you think “The Brotherhood of the Wolf” was OK but a wee bit too hoity-toity for your taste? “Queen of the Damned” will not tax your reserves. It is never clear whether the film desires to be a dark, moody, atmospheric vampire movie in the original “Dracula” standard, a heavy-metal style “cool” vampire chic homage to “Dracula 2000” or an ironic bloodsucker comedy following in the hilarious footsteps of “Dracula, Dead and Loving It.”
Director Michael Rymer (“In Too Deep”) crams two Anne Rice novels (one that gives the movie its title, the other “The Vampire Lestat”) into one film, sacrificing nothing except coherence and character development. What saves it from being a complete waste of time is the dirty-decadent joy that turns this bloated B movie into a fun bloated B movie. The blood is sharply red over the washed out whites, grays and blacks that permeate the rest of the film. Vampires don”t simply bite, they slurp. The film wallows in its own depravity, and that is its finest asset.
Stuart Townsend (“Wonderland”) is Lestat, Rice”s titular ber-erotic undead 19th century French nobleman, immortalized (ha, ha) by Tom Cruise in Neil Jordan”s “Interview with the Vampire.” Townsend does little to fill Cruises tiny shoes but pout and allow blood to drip down his face. The tale begins in modern times with Lestat waking from a hundred-some-dud year nap to join a goth-metal band, which subsequently becomes the most popular band in the world. Seriously. Oh, and Lestat tells everyone that he”s a vampire, and no one seems to have a problem with it except for the other vampires (of which, apparently, there are plenty) who decide to come after him.
After these early-film happenings, the audience is treated to a long flashback documenting Lestat”s early days vamping with Marius (Vincent Perez), who originally introduced Lestat to the dark side. The film then makes the obvious transition back to the modern day, where Lestat”s music has awakened ancient vampire Queen Akasha (Aaliyah) who eats everyone in sight and goes after Lestat to mate with him and attacks another group of vampires lead by Academy Award winner Lena Olin who want to kill both her and Lestat and they”re all being tailed by Marguerite Moreau who works for some sort of underground vampire-hunting group. If you”re confused, it”s because this movie doesn”t make any sense, and you could fit large, many-sided items through the holes in the plot.
Moreau”s character seems to be a Lestat love interest, as he never kills her and she helps him save the day, though it is never explained why the vampire doesn”t just eat her. Olin, as far as I can gather, plays the Glenda to Aaliyah”s Wicked Witch of the West, though I”m not sure, as it is never really explained
While only on screen for about 10 minutes, the late R&B singer Aaliyah received more press than anyone else in what amounts to Townsend”s movie. The singer died in a plane crash last summer just before completing her role, and her older brother provides voice-over for a few scenes. The actress exhibits a strange control while onscreen, gyrating and eating people with the fierce animalism of Grace Jones (or an angry rhino). While the part calls for nothing more than looking beautiful and wearing fake blood, Aaliyah”s provocative presence suggests her film career could have broadened beyond fake diamond headdresses and plastic teeth.
Rymer aptly guides the audience through special effects sequences and decadent, bloody-sensual slow burn shots with the vampires. Scott Abbott script tries to do too much without explaining anything. Characters come and go, and major plot points aren”t introduced until the final reel.
That said, anyone who goes to a movie entitled “Queen of the Damned” should not expect Jean-Luc Goddard. “Queen of the Damned” is by no stretch a good movie, but few movies are these days, and this one certainly isn”t the worst.