“Wait which one sounds more like me?” Isla asked.
“What?”
“Hold on,” she began tapping away at her phone.
My phone let out two crisp “dings,” and I took it out to see two separate text messages: “hey” and “Hey.” She looked up at me in anticipation. I scratched my head. But staring at the two same greetings, I felt a difference. I knew there was a difference.
“Honestly, I can’t really hear your voice through the auto caps,” I admitted. “It just isn’t you.”
“Right? That’s what my friends thought too,” she nodded. “Okay, I’m going to switch back to no auto caps.”
It hadn’t even been a day since she turned auto caps on.
and she does not text with auto caps unless she absolutely has to
For context, this entire conversation unfolded because my girlfriend was debating whether to turn on the auto caps settings on her phone after needing to text her lab’s group chat.
“Oh my god, this is so jarring,” I remember her shuddering as she had to introduce herself so formally to everyone in her group.
“Since when did you have auto caps set to off?” I later asked.
“Probably when I was 10,” she shrugged.
“What? You had a phone when you were 10? I got my first phone just before high school!”
“Well, no, I had an iPod Touch that I used to text people with,” she clarified.
“So, you have had auto caps disabled ever since?”
“Yup.”
“Wow, okay. Eight years of using no auto caps.”
**
So why was a 10-year-old Isla texting with auto caps disabled? It made her seem chill when she texted her friends with her little iPod, she told me. But you don’t have to be 10 to text in all lowercase. Everyone — or every college student, at least — knows at least one person who texts with no regard for syntax rules: all lowercase, no punctuation, no nothing — just complete syntactic anarchy. this is what no auto caps encapsulates.
so does reading this completely lowercase sentence without any punctuation make me seem more chill (hopefully you probably read that as a question even without a question mark) what about using lowercase letters makes people implicitly think, “yo i didn’t know u were chill like that”
What if I use this correctly capitalized sentence? Do I seem less chill? Probably a little too serious, I admit.
but being on “team no auto caps” is totally cool, right? i’m just texting, and texting inherently provides a cool, casual domain to defy all rules: text conversations are just cute, mini conversations that can fit right in your pocket, right?
Not if you’re texting your boss or sending an important email, of course. Context matters. You could always find my silly comments on my friends’ Instagram posts combined with a sillier pair of emojis like “let bro cook!!! 🔥👨🍳🐀” but you’ll never see me reciprocate the same chaotic energy reciprocated on a friend’s LinkedIn update even though “let bro cook!!! 🔥👨🍳🐀” still fits in that context. Instead, I would opt for one of the standard, AI-generated responses like “Congrats!” or “Well deserved!” to seem professional not only for my friend, but also for anyone who might stumble across my comment.
And after bringing up the “auto caps versus no auto caps” conversation with my friends, I noticed that the majority of us found ourselves agreeing that we frequently switched sides between “Team Auto Caps” and “team no auto caps.” We also agreed that this alternating method of communication was essentially a form of code-switching.
We often put up this facade of corporate professionalism with auto caps and punctuation, slowly curating messages key by key and carefully rereading them in case we miss a comma. but to friends and family group chats our messages are carelessly generated with no regard for the endless stream of run-on sentences that would irk any daily editor and make them wince with all the blaring wavy underlines. But again, the use of poor syntax is usually negligible in getting the point of a message. For example, “I love you,” and “i luv u” still bear the same meaning. But, there’s a lingering caveat between the reception and tone of the message: “I love you,” has a neutral, yet meaningful undertone, while “i luv u” is more casual and is almost less meaningful in a way because mAyBe iF yOu rEaLlY cArEd (alternating case capitalization implies a mocking tone) you would’ve spelled “I love you” the formal and right way instead of being all aloof and unserious with “i luv you.” Or maybe if you REALLY wanted to create emphasis would use, “I LOVE YOU” in all caps paired with a bunch of heart emojis. Get it now? Capitalization can change EVERYTHING. Auto caps, or a lack thereof, is an art that reveals a subtle splash of personality and seamlessly injects the nuance of an intended message: Generally speaking, having auto caps on could imply you like to keep it tidy and classy. auto caps off could imply you’re laid back and aesthetic and you like to be carefree and maybe you want to appear less imposing with uppercase letters. Thus, with how ubiquitous communication through texting and emails is, it is as though choosing to use auto caps or not is a very intentional projection of our real personality online.
So, to auto cap or not to auto cap, that is the question. I am mostly on team auto caps because no matter the occasion, it won’t hurt to follow the rules and it apparently suits me better. on the other hand there would be an associated risk with being team no auto caps since u wouldn’t want to come off as unserious or impolite to a specific person or group of ppl. But most of the time, you don’t get to choose what team you’re on — the team chooses you.
that is unless you’ve been using auto caps since forever or if you’re texting somebody new who has never seen the way you text before
**
“What about me? Which one sounds more like me?” I then asked. I copied the exact same messages, texting “hey” and “Hey” as Isla similarly inspected the messages on her screen.
“Ding, ding!”
“Hmm, I think auto caps suit you better,” she answered. “No auto caps just doesn’t sound like you when I read it.” I thought so, too.
And, just like that, we continued texting in our own, somehow fitting ways.
she texts in all lowercase while i can probably only wish to achieve her level of chill with all those calm lowercase letters
But who cares about what team chooses you, since people more often alternate based on context: I’ve depressingly texted friends “i’m cooked,” after exams and cackled with “AHAHAHHAHAH” because of a funny TikTok video. Just pick your personality and stick with it.
u can break away from formal grammar rules and revert to the ease and comfort of no auto caps and show a bit of life and flair
OR maybe u r somewhere hovering in between auto caps and no auto caps like my dad, reverting to this oddball third option of combining the 2 all the time.
Or you can seemingly stay classic and professional by abiding to conventional syntax rules.
loser
Statement Columnist Philip (Sooyoung) Ham can be reached at philham@umich.edu.