For as long as I can remember, a massive, metaphorical elephant took up residence in my childhood home. It stomped around loudly, occupying an immense space, yet everyone avoided acknowledging its looming presence. This rarely discussed elephant was the issue of mental health.
In my Hong Kong-American household, topics such as depression, anxiety and emotional well-being felt like uncharted territory. The prioritization of basic needs like food, shelter and safety took precedence above all else, shaping my family’s upbringing. Talking about mental health was an unimaginable luxury.
Even after immigrating to the U.S., the deep-rooted, multi-generational mindset persisted. My parents were focused on building a stable life for our family and instilling in us cultural values like hard work, responsibility and resilience. So when I began struggling with anxiety and depression as a young adult, they found themselves at a loss for how to understand it.
My parents’ reactions were marked by confusion: From their perspective, I appeared to have such a wealth of opportunities in life, so comprehending my inner struggles was challenging. They gently encouraged me to seek positive outlets and advised me against dwelling on negativity, mistakenly believing that I could fully control how I felt. However, they meant no harm; their reactions came from a place of genuine care and concern. They simply hadn’t developed perspectives for recognizing and validating the mental health challenges I was working through at the time. From their pragmatic viewpoint, these intangible struggles couldn’t possibly outweigh the life of security and opportunity they had painstakingly built for our family and me. Due to this disconnect, their well-intentioned approach was to minimize it as a passing phase.
Over time, I began to feel inherent shame for being unable to “get over” this unseen anguish through sheer self-discipline. So year after year, I learned to bury my feelings as the metaphorical elephant grew larger and its tormented bellows thundered louder within me.
It wasn’t until taking psychology courses at the University of Michigan that I felt truly seen and understood. Learning about conditions like major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety gave long-awaited names and validation to the battles I had been waging since my teenage years. For the first time, I realized this wasn’t a personal failing, but a legitimate health challenge deserving of a compassionate, non-judgmental listening ear and a safe space to discuss what’s on my mind.
Empowered by this new self-compassion, I eventually attended the University’s School of Social Work, where I found a growing appreciation for the field — a field where I could work toward de-stigmatizing commonly misunderstood and overlooked subjects while uplifting others facing similar mental health journeys. Numerous studies shed light on why this work is so crucial — Asian Americans are 50% less likely than other racial groups to seek mental health services. Additionally, only 8.6% of Asian Americans sought mental health services over a given 12-month period, in contrast to 17.9% of the general population.
As we observe Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month, it’s important to bring long-ignored psychological struggles into the light through an openness to communicate and educate one another. We have to proactively share our stories and experiences to dismantle stigmas. It’s time Asian American families feel empowered to support emotional wellness without shame or judgment.
After graduating with a master’s in social work, I decided to take on a passion project. I launched my blog, With Tian, where I aim to cultivate a supportive community exploring mental health journeys while providing culturally relevant self-care resources and healthy coping tools. I believe breaking the silence surrounding our psychological challenges is a crucial first step toward achieving a sense of collective healing.
Many Asian Americans overcame tremendous hardship and adversity through grit and resilience. Now, it’s time to embody that indomitable spirit by addressing the unspoken elephants weighing down our collective psyche. I invite you to share your truths vulnerably, listen with open hearts and reach out for care whenever needed.
Only by bringing these struggles into the open and treating our whole selves — minds, bodies and souls — with unconditional compassion can we truly honor the fullness of our heritage. The elephants will no longer have a place in our homes or communities. Together, let’s make mental health support a real priority for the Asian American people.
Tian Yeung is a 2022 LSA graduate and a 2024 School of Social Work graduate. She can be reached at tiyeung@umich.edu.