During the last few weeks of the semester, I counted down the days until I could sleep in my own room and eat my mother’s food — I even created my summer bucket list with 100 tasks. I looked forward to the start of the break: the deletion of Canvas from my phone, long days spent with friends under the sun and the boundless potential of shaping my ideal summer with my newfound free time.
The last day of my semester finally arrived. I moved out of the East Quad Residence Hall and returned home for the next four months. Instead of checking off “hosting a picnic” or “swimming in a lake” from my bucket list, I sat on my couch for hours and scrolled through YouTube Shorts. As posts of people my age on the beach or around campfires populated my feed, I felt like every minute that I spent inside or alone was a minute that I wasted from my precious summer. I saw friends every week instead of every day, and my life at home felt like a pause from vibrant campus life, a period of stasis where I could only look forward to the bustle of returning to school.
As I discussed my reservations about this season with peers, however, I realized that many shared a similar sentiment. Whether we struggle to live out our ideal four months or grow annoyed by sweat and constant sunscreen applications, we have valid reasons to dislike summer and should normalize a realistic, instead of idealistic, lifestyle for this season.
From bucket lists to social media trends like #hotgirlsummer, we face social pressures to make the most of our break or risk feeling the fear of missing out. In fact, from a poll of 1,500 Cosmopolitan U.K. readers, 74% of respondents say that they experience more FOMO during the summer. Many participants attribute their response to social media highlight reels that perpetuate idealistic summer lifestyles. As a result, 52% of Americans say that they spend more money during this span of three months.
However, we should realize that these idealistic social standards for the summer are not realistic. Without club meetings or campus events, many of us live away from our college friends and in less social environments during this season. Combined with our idealism, the increase in alone time during the break can drive summertime loneliness, which can exacerbate comparison culture on social media as well as our FOMO.
Another contributor to summertime loneliness is reverse seasonal affective disorder. While we primarily attribute SAD to the winter months, extreme heat, excessive light exposure and humidity can interfere with our circadian rhythms and moods, potentially increasing fatigue, irritability or anxiety. Given the impacts of reverse SAD, we should be mindful about shifts in our mental health between seasons and realize that summertime unhappiness is a real experience. By practicing self-care or discussing reverse SAD with loved ones or mental health professionals, we can normalize this experience and also address our feelings of loneliness.
Beyond normalizing summer mental health troubles, we can readjust our expectations for the season. Some authors recommend that we schedule at least two events to look forward to during each month. While two events may seem paltry compared to our school-year calendar, we should be mindful of the different social opportunities and events between our summer and academic-year environments. Therefore, we should create season-specific expectations rather than hold ourselves to our school-year standards of social interaction or productivity.
Through clear goals, we can counteract feelings of guilt for not participating in more activities. Rather than fall into the trap of “more is better,” we can feel more accomplished by achieving our goal of meeting a friend once a week or receiving just 10 minutes of sunlight per day. By creating quantifiable goals, we can mitigate feelings of FOMO and promote our own summer satisfaction.
We often hear that our summers in college are our last real summers. While this statement encourages us to prioritize fun and practice gratitude for this precious time, this sense of urgency also pressures us to strive for a perfect break. Ultimately, we fall into disappointment for struggling to reach our idealism.
However, Lady A’s song “Summer State of Mind” provides a helpful reminder of this season’s essence. Summer is more than just a checklist; it symbolizes a carefree feeling and a period of relaxation. We must reframe our expectations for our break away from our endless laundry list of activities and toward a feeling that we want to create.
Even though I may not attend my dream picnics or camping trips this summer, I look forward to weekly ice cream dates with my high school friends and family walks at nature preserves. Mindful of mental health considerations and my clear goals, I hope to finally break away from FOMO and learn to enjoy this period of stasis.
Sarah Zhang is an Opinion Columnist who writes about gender, race and campus culture. She can be reached at sarzhang@umich.edu.