“Best Scenes From ‘The Wicker Man'”

Jessica Boullion
Jessica Boullion

Don’t tell me there aren’t artists on YouTube. A user has turned the stunningly callous remake of “The Wicker Man” from an offensive horror film into one of the best comedies I’ve ever seen.

Nicolas Cage has always been an overactor, but here his efforts are hilariously theatrical, and this montage helpfully pieces together his worst moments. Whether he’s pointing a gun at a confused young woman (“Step away from the bike!”) or getting attacked by a bag of bees, the video ingeniously constructs the film’s most absurd sequences into a two-minute clip that’s better entertainment than Nic Cage has managed in years.

The best part? The film’s penchant for violence against women is repulsive in the actual movie, but in this video there’s nothing like seeing Cage pelt a cult leader while wearing a giant bear suit. It gets me every time.

Jeffery Bloomer

See this and other YouTube videos of the week at youtube.com/user/michigandaily

Quotes of the week

“I don’t know. If you go back to my speech, I think I may have. I’m not sure. I think I did, I’m not sure. I don’t know what formally means.”

– RUDY GIULIANI responding questioning about whether he had formally announced his presidential candidacy.

“She was raised to be a rich man’s wife. Instead she becomes the president of the most powerful university in the world.”

– ELIZABETH WARREN, a Harvard professor and friend of Drew Faust, who was appointed as Harvard’s first-ever female president.

“If it weren’t for rape, how would (ugly women) ever know the joy of intercourse with a man who isn’t drunk?”

– A controvesrial editorial published in the Central Connecticut State University student paper. The piece, meant to be a satire on free speech, triggered vehement protest.

Person of the week: Ted Haggard

With just three weeks of counseling, exiled evangelist Rev. Ted Haggard, who says he was once gay, has prayed himself straight, according to an interview last week. The former president of the National Association of Evangelicals and senior pastor at New Life Church in Colorado faced a rapid career change after admitting to hiring a male prostitute while away on solo book-writing retreats in a Denver hotel. Was this miracle evidence that the love of Jesus can banish homosexuality? Or was it just more proof that brainwashing techniques coupled with a lifetime of self-hatred are a potent combination?

Themed party suggestion

Chinese New Year – Tomorrow is the first day of the new lunar year. If you’re of age, celebrate by kicking back some imported Chinese beer. If not, green tea?

Throwing this party? Let us know. TheStatement@umich.edu

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