What’s stranger than random Japanese workout videos? Japanese workout videos seemingly motivated by American imperialism and the fear of being mugged by two strangely emasculated, overweight American men.

In this most recent YouTube gem, scenes of overjoyed Japanese women getting their workout on is interspersed between scenes of said armed robbery. But what makes this all the more disturbing is the narration of the stereotypical let’s-get-in-shape line-up of the exercisers. In each scene, the women are chanting the different responses to their abductors. Things like “spare me my life” and “take anything you want.”

And just in case you make it out of the robbery alive, the video teaches you how to approach an English-speaking police officer and tell him “I was robbed by two men.”

If this video doesn’t make you squirm on the half acre your ancestors stole, I don’t know what will.

Chris Gaerig

– See this and The Statement’s other videos of the week at

Trend of the week

Games of Risk and strategery and The New York Times edit page

Random wikipedia article of the week

Evil genius

“The Evil Genius is an archetype or even a caricature that is a recurring staple in certain genres of fiction, particularly comic books, spy fiction, action films and cartoons. From Wile E. Coyote to Professor Moriarty, the evil genius is a common adversary and foil of the hero.

As the term suggests, evil geniuses are characters of great intelligence who choose to use their knowledge for antisocial ends. To qualify as an evil genius, one must use cunning to craft complex plots that cause havoc and destruction; criminal tendencies are a must. Their schemes often hinge on mundane details that heroes can exploit, foiling their plots at the climax of the story.

Evil geniuses have commonly had difficult childhoods. They may have been orphans or witnessed their parents’ horrible deaths. Ironically, this is often the origin of many superheroes. Normally, this is used to contrast them from superheroes. It implies that there is nothing different from the hero, and the villain, except a single choice. When humor is involved they are often simply the victim of bullying.

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