In response to the thunderous support the Ann Arbor community showed toward the Yellow Cab Company in our voting for Best of Ann Arbor, I called it upon myself to honestly record just what makes Yellow the best color in the city. And after catching an episode or four of HBO’s incredibly honest and shocking “Taxicab Confessions,” I decided that a taping of “Taxicab Driver Confessions” would do the trick.
After a night of hardcore studying (drinking) at the UGLi (Scorekeeper’s, of course, the best bar in AA), I knew I was just too brain-dead (brain-dead) to find my home on my own. Plus, my study buddies (sorority girlfriends) just weren’t up for the two-block ride.
Our originally intended driver, Latka, had some type of emergency wrestling match so mohawked, Marine battle jacket-wearing veteran cabbie Travis Bickle filled in at the last minute, still arriving in incredible time and immediately supporting the claim that Yellow is best.
Travis knew Ann Arbor like no public transporter I’ve ever witnessed and the only problem we encountered in giving directions was his constant retort of “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to?” After quickly straightening out that we were indeed talking to him, the drive went fine.
Once Travis rang up our meter, boy was he surprised when I revealed that our whole cab-ride was recorded by a mini-camera attached to the oversized Yankees cap I wore atop my head. Still, while some drivers might get irritated or even violent over my trickery, Travis laughed it off and even offered me some advice to help me in all my future exploits.
Travis whispered, “Hey Martin (the fake named I used during my ride). If you ever develop a pedophilic crush on a 13-year-old Jodie Foster, just whip out your gun and pump her prick-of-a-pimp Matthew so full of lead that she’ll be yours forever.”
The drivers for Yellow Cab: always on time and always willing to give you that extra bit of advice to make your ride just a little more memorable.