Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages – welcome to the world of The Daily Janitor, where you, the reader, will pick my column topics. If you have a mess to be cleaned, I am the mop bucket of Ful-Trol to your spilled pop.

But since this will be the only column topic chosen by me, it might as well be about what I think.

Ahem … I believe in the soul, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curveball, in arriving to a baseball stadium two hours before the first pitch on Opening Day.

I believe that the Tigers and the Lions will both be over .500 in 2003, that the Marty Turco-charged Stars will beat the Red Wings to go to the Stanley Cup and that Joe Dumars will have the Pistons in the NBA Championship by 2004. I believe 2003 will be the year of the Wolverine, beginning with men’s basketball winning the Big Ten and ending with those on the gridiron earning a BCS bid.

(I believe that if you don’t know what movie I’m referencing than you haven’t seen a good movie.)

I believe “South Park” is the best there is, that “Family Guy” is the best there was and that “The Simpsons” is the best there ever will be.

I believe that not enough students on this campus have taken the chance to watch the brilliant pitching of Marissa Young, that everyone should know the names Jason Coben and Amy McCullough and that both soccer programs are “the programs to watch” this season. I believe that Sports Illustrated columnist Rick Reilly was dead on when he said “cheerleaders have no more impact on the game than the night janitorial staff.” Trust me on that one.

I believe in backyard baseball, in just playing catch, in shooting hoops and that those who feel IM sports are a way to further their career in sports have a very messed up view of life.

I believe the Michigan hockey team will defy logic and its seeding with another Frozen Four appearance and that Al Montoya will leave school with at least one national championship ring on his hand.

I believe that Scott Mitchell wasn’t that bad of a quarterback, that Barry Sanders retiring actually made sense and that Gary Moeller should have stayed on as the Lions’ coach even after the Christmas Eve loss to the Bears.

I believe that the Maize Rage – as ridiculous as it sounded when it began – has become the strongest group on campus, that Tommy Amaker has silenced critics and made everyone forget about any problems at Seton Hall and that Lester Abram still isn’t getting enough press.

I believe PB&J is the most underrated snack in America, that Hilton Head, S.C. is this nation’s best kept secret, that everyone should have a George Foreman grill, that the Bravada is the most durable car known to man and that the Wild Wing Caf

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