So you’re alone on Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’ve just gone through a breakup, maybe you’re perpetually single or maybe you have the mutant cold currently travelling through the dorms and everyone refuses to get anywhere close to you, let alone touch you.
But the college student’s best friend, TV, is here to comfort you and drown out the noises of your neighbor and her boyfriend who got inspired by the premiere of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” So, in keeping with the theme of love and commemoration of the day St. Valentine was martyred and buried in Italy, here are the episodes you should watch while you’re not getting laid:
“30 Rock”- Anna Howard Shaw Day
To elude the pressures of Valentine’s Day, Liz (Tina Fey) schedules a root canal, forgetting that she needs someone to drive her home.
Watch if: You want to picture all your ex’s lined up in dental hygienist uniforms.
“Parks and Recreation”- Operation Ann
Leslie (Amy Poehler) tries to find love for her best friend, Ann (Rashida Jones), by enlisting her co-workers to bring blind dates to the department’s Valentine’s Day dance. The real star of the episode is the recently broken-up-with Chris (Rob Lowe), the morbid DJ of the event who continuously tells a room full of couples that love is fleeting.
Watch if: Seeing Ron Swanson get excited by puzzles will get you out of your break-up funk.
“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”- Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
Xander (Nicholas Brendon) decides to get back at Cordelia (Charisma Carpenter) for breaking up with him by casting a love spell on her. However, this plan goes terribly awry when every girl in Sunnydale except Cordelia falls madly in love with him.
Watch if: You’ve been considering the dark arts as a source of revenge. Trust me, it’s not worth it.
“Orange is the New Black”- You Also Have A Pizza
This episode focuses on the loves of Litchfield, which will both warm and break your icy heart. As always, the rest of the cast has very different opinions on love and Valentine’s Day. There is a sex contest, betrayal and the description of love as intense pain. You might cry when Suzanne looks at Morella with those crazy eyes and says “I know something about loving people who aren’t smart enough to be loved back. I learned a secret that I can tell you. They don’t deserve it.” For all the eye rolling over Valentine’s Day, the inmates at Litchfield still need any kind of love they can get.
Watch if: Even after everything that’s happened, you still want to believe in all this stuff. When Crazy Eyes tells you that that’s brave, you won’t feel quite so alone anymore.