Secret Window Kudos to Johnny Depp for attempting to restore
Stephen King’s reputation as a Hollywood writer. But who in
his right mind bought a Stephen King script after
“Dreamcatcher”? At Showcase: Midnight (Thurs. and
Fri.), 12:30 AM, 12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 2:35, 3:05, 3:35, 4:45, 5:15,
5:45, 7:05, 7:35, 8:05, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15, 11:30. At Madstone:
1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:30, 9:35.
Spartan Val Kilmer had to take a sabbatical after helping to
ruin the “Batman” series and playing some really crappy
characters like “The Saint.” Well, let’s just
hope that master plot-craftsman David Mamet can make Val mildly
enjoyable. At Showcase: 12:20 AM, 12:10, 2:30, 4:55, 7:20, 9:50. At
Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40.
What Alice Found Alice was a country bumpkin working as a
grocery clerk. Alice wanted to be a marine biologist. Alice decided
to travel across the country to fulfill her dreams, but along the
way, she was taken in by weird old people who fantasized about her
being their child. I don’t know; go watch it and figure out
all this. At Madstone: 3:15, 7:30.
50 First Dates Rob Schneider’s movies may suck, but it
sure is fun to watch him go drag and get hit over the head with an
aluminum baseball bat. Perhaps he’s finally found his
calling. At Showcase: 1:20, 3:25, 5:40, 7:50, 9:55, 12:10 (Fri. and
Sat.). At Madstone: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15.
Barbershop 2: Back in Business How can you watch and enjoy this
installment of a very surprisingly enjoyable saga when you know
that in the near future it’s all going to be spoiled by Queen
Latifah’s “Beautyshop”? Damn her. At Showcase:
12:00, 10:30, 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.).
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen “Freaky Friday”
is a darn good movie. It’s too bad, though, that its
unexpected critical and public acclaim has been followed by the
release of worthless, teeny bop crap like this. At Showcase: 12:40,
2:40, 4:40, 6:55, 9:10.
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights Another fine example of a movie
that should’ve learned from its predecessors. People only
liked the first “Dirty Dancing” because it was the
first feature all about dancing. After that, people wised up and
realized that movies about dancing are trash. At Showcase:
Eurotrip Hopefully the apes behind this film will realize one of
these days that crotch and fecal jokes can sustain a couple movies
at most. At Showcase: 12:05 (Thurs. and Fri.).
Hidalgo This epic cowboy biopic has been labeled everything from
racist to just poorly done. Plus, Viggo already raked in enough
money through LOTR to support him for the rest of his days.
Let’s not financially support this goon any longer. At
Showcase: 12:20 (Thurs. and Fri.), 12:55, 1:25, 3:45, 4:15, 6:45,
7:15, 9:35, 10:05. At Madstone: 1:30, 4:15, 7:05, 9:45.
In America This rugged yet lovable family has to be the toughest
thing to hail from Ireland since that short, green guy in the
“Leprechaun” series. At Madstone: 1:05, 5:20, 9:30.
Miracle Is the fact that the actors in this film are really
hockey players supposed to be impressive? It would have been much
cooler if they’d trained good actors to skate and shoot a
puck. Way to blow it, Disney. At Showcase: 2:20, 5:05, 7:45.
The Passion of the Christ Some have called Mel Gibson a
fanatical, Holocaust-doubting, violence-loving radical. Others have
praised his work as a divinely inspired masterpiece. In any case,
he’s raking in the bones. At Showcase: 12:00, 12:30, 1:00,
1:30, 3:00, 3:30, 4:00, 4:30, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 9:00, 9:30,
10:00. At Madstone: 1:00, 2:00, 4:00, 5:00, 7:00, 8:00, 9:45.
Starsky and Hutch What do you get when you pair the comic-genius
director of “The Cable Guy” with a big-headed surfer
goon? Answer: a terribly mediocre comedy that reeks of a Beastie
Boys video. At Showcase: 12:25 (Thurs. and Fri.), 12:20, 12:50,
2:45, 3:15, 5:00, 5:30, 7:25, 7:55, 9:40, 10:10, 11:55.
Twisted Weekly rottentomatoes.com update: “Twisted”
holds strongly at a 2 percent positive rating. In other words, a
whole 2 percent of critics review the film favorably. This
statistic can speak for itself. At Showcase: 12:35 (Thurs. and
Fri.), 1:10, 3:20, 5:35, 8:10, 10:25.
The Dreamers Sex, sex and more sex. And this is artistically
done sex, too. At State Theater: 9:00.
The Fog of War Good ol’ Gen. McNamara finally hits the big
screen. At State Theater: 7:00, 9:15.
Tokyo Godfathers An anime journey with random homeless peeps and
an infant. At Michigan Theater: 7:15, 9:15.
Touching the Void Mountain climbers are tough and fun-to-watch
dudes. At Michigan Theater: 7:00, 9:30.
The Triplets of Belleville Silent animation with a completely
weird plot = sweetness. At State Theater: 7:15.
The Ron Brooks Trio Definitely all former BALCO clients. Bird of
Paradise, 312 S. Main St., Ann Arbor. 9 p.m. $5. 662-8310.
The Tad Weed Freedom Ensemble Blow some dank and still check out
an ensemble, holla. Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., Ann Arbor. 8
p.m. $10-$25. 662-8310.
Umphrey’s McGee Even if they were called “Humpy
McGee” they’d still suck. Blind Pig, 208 S. First St.,
Ann Arbor 9:30 p.m. $15. 996-8588.
Kimberly Akimbo Following the life of a girl who ages at four
times the usual rate, this play is an absurdly funny and touching
tale of a girl discovering love and escaping her unique
limitations. 8 p.m., Performance Network, $22.50 – $27.50;
The Real Thing This play promises to be thought-provoking,
covering issues of marriage and writing, emotional fidelity and
intellectual integrity, high art and pop culture. 7 p.m., Arena
Fog of War See Above. At State Theater: 7:00, 9:15.
Ghosts of Attica Kick back, relax and watch a prison riot as it
really happened. At Michigan Theater: 5:00.
Greendale Neil Young folk music and a creative tale about a
small-town murder. C’mon now. At Michigan Theater: 9:45.
Triplets of Bellville See Above. At State Theater: 7:15,
Touching the Void See Above. At Michigan Theater: 7:30.
Leslie Science Center Benefit: The RFD Boys The best science
center benefit concert this weekend. The Ark, 316 South Main St.,
Ann Arbor. 8 p.m. $11 ($10 students/seniors) 761-1451.
The Nice Device. Hint: it’s pink, battery powered and has
varying speed. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St., Ypsilanti 10 p.m.
Nipple Dust. It’s like that time you woke up in Baits next
to that one girl that smelled like fish. Blind Pig, 208 S. First
St., Ann Arbor 9:30 p.m. $6 ($9 under 21). 996-8588.
Kimberly Akimbo See Thursday.
The Real Thing See Thursday, 7 p.m. and 11 p.m.
Fog of War See Above. At State Theater: 2:15, 4:30, 7:00,
The Goonies Check out a young Sean Astin. See the child who
later entertained us all as Rudy and Samwise Gamgee. At State
Greendale See Above. At Michigan Theater: 11:15.
Melvin Goes to Dinner You can only imagine what kind of good
stuff comes up in dinner table conversations. At Michigan Theater:
Touching the Void See Above. At Michigan Theater: 4:30, 6:45,
Triplets of Bellville See Above. At State Theater: 2:00, 4:45,
7:15, 9:30, 11:30.
Bitch & Animal. Sounds like my daddy’s last marriage.
The Ark, 316 S. Main St., Ann Arbor. 8 p.m. $13.50. 761-1451.
The Joint Chiefs Like Ashcroft and Condi Rice blazin’
non-stop. Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., Ann Arbor. 9:30 p.m. $8 ($10
under 21). 996-8588.
KK Dirty Money & Las Drogas “Grizzled outlaw love
songs?” Wow, count me in. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St.,
Ypsilanti. 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.
Romeo and Juliet Featuring the Ann Arbor Symphony Orchestra and
the Peter Sparling Dance Company and Dance Gallery Studio’s Youth
Repertory Ensemble, Romeo and Juliet is the most romantic happening
this March. Michigan Theater. 8 p.m. $15 – $36; 994-4801.
Kimberly Akimbo See Thursday.
The Real Thing See Thursday, 7 p.m. and 11 p.m.
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837;
Showcase: 973-8380; State: 761-8667.
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times
at State Theater are effective for Saturday and Sunday only.