A guide to who’s where, what’s happening and why you need to be there…

Thursday, Oct. 30 through Sunday, Nov. 2

Films opening

Bollywood/Hollywood: Somebody finally has the sense to make a decent musical about a whore. It’s about damn time. At Madstone: 1:20, 5:35, 7:40.

In the Cut: People ought to boycott any Meg Ryan film that isn’t a romantic comedy. She’s tormented us for so long with her useless sapfests, and now she wants out? Not so fast, Meggy. At Showcase: Noon, 2:30, 5:00, 7:35, 10:10, 12:30 AM (Fri and Sat)

Films holding

Good Boy! Whatever happened to “Homeboys from Outer Space” and all the other halfway decent extraterrestrial film and television of yesteryear? Good boy’s don’t make bad movies, therfore this dog is not a good boy. At Showcase: 12:15, 2:35, 4:35, 6:35, 8:30.

 

Intolerable Cruelty George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones are two fine looking people. I mean, just one look at her curvaceous hips and appetizing, hourglass frame will … uhh, sorry; got off track there. Where was I? Oh yes, “Intolerable Cruelty” … At Showcase: 12:55, 3:05, 5:20, 8:00, 10:05, 12:25 AM (Fri and Sat) At Madstone: 3:25.

 

Kill Bill: Volume 1 Do you know why there’s a sign above Quentin Tarantino’s garage that says, “Amazing filmmaker?” Because making amazing films, especially those about ninjas, is his business. And for him, business is good. At Showcase: 12:10, 1:40, 2:35, 4:20, 4:55, 6:50, 7:20, 9:10, 9:40, 11:25, 11:55 At Madstone: 1:00, 2:00, 4:30, 5:00, 7:00, 7:45, 9:30, 10:15.

 

Lost in Translation It’s a Bill Murray comedy salad with Asian dressing and sounds like a delicious treat. OK, that was an inane and hopeless metaphor. Go see it anyway. Seriously, you will be glad you did. At Showcase: 1:00, 7:55.

 

Mystic River The moral of the story: Next time you decide to go pedophile hunting, try to do it on a night other than the one when your childhood friend’s daughter is murdered. It’ll save everyone a lot of hassle. Wait did I just give everything away? At Showcase: 12:50, 1:20, 3:40, 4:10, 6:40, 7:10, 9:35, 10:05, 12:20 At Madstone: 1:30, 4:15, 7:05, 9:45.

 

Night of the Living Dead As the inimitable Beavis would probably say, “Zombies kick ass.” This is the first major zombie movie. Logic follows that this ought to kick ass, too. At Madstone: 10:30.

 

Out of Time You have to wonder sometimes whether Denzel is really a good actor or if he just scares the piss out of people to the point where they say they like him. Personally, I think it is the second, but that’s just me. At Showcase: 1:00, 3:20, 5:30, 7:45, 10:15, 12:20 (Fri and Sat) At Madstone: 1:25, 3:45, 7:25, 9:45.

 

Radio This movie was fine when it was called “Rudy” and the makers didn’t try to rack up extra sympathy points by giving the main character a mental handicap. But Ed Harris is still very cool. At Showcase: Noon, 12:30, 2:20, 2:50, 4:35, 5:05, 6:55, 7:25, 9:20, 9:50, 11:40, 12:10 a.m. (Fri and Sat) At Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:45.

 

Runaway Jury If you like John Grisham stories that are all about the intrigues of law in the South but completely inaccurate depictions of the legal system itself, then, brother, you’re in the right place. Or if you like Gene Hackman movies. At Showcase: 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:05, 11:35. At Madstone: 1:00, 3:35, 7:00, 9:35.

 

Scary Movie 3 This one is a substantial improvement on the second “Scary Movie.” It’s too bad, though, that it took three movies for the makers to figure out that the Wayans brothers were ruining their movies. At Showcase: 12:15 AM, 12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 3:45, 4:15, 4:45, 5:15, 5:45, 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 8:15, 8:45, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15, 10:45, 11:15, 11:45 At Madstone: 1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:30, 9:35.

 

The School of Rock Jack Black is a damn fine comedian for making such a crappy plot good. All hail the Tenacious D front man. Let us sing him praise. This is not the greatest movie in the world, but a tribute. At Showcase: 12:10, 12:40, 2:40, 3:10, 5:00, 7:25, 9:45, 11:55.

 

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre While we’re at it, why don’t we just remake “Halloween,” “The Exorcist” and every other worthwhile horror movie of the past four decades into a worthless teeny-bop piece of crap. Or, maybe we won’t, you decide. At Showcase: 12:50, 1:20, 3:00, 3:30, 5:20, 5:50, 7:40, 8:10, 9:55, 10:25, Midnight, 12:30 AM (Fri and Sat)

 

Under the Tuscan Sun If you think seeing the Tuscan landscape is worth eight and a quarter, then, by all means, go see this. Otherwise, spare yourself the anguish. I have heard that the real Tuscan landscape is a sight to behold, if you have the means, I highly recommend you do check it out for yourself. At Madstone: 1:05, 3:20, 5:30, 7:45.

 

Underworld It’s amazing how appealing “Matrix” rip-off action sequences and heavy metal music are. It sometimes makes you think you’re in the wrong business. But werewolves and vampires are still totally sweet, so the movie isn’t a complete wash. At Showcase: 12:40 a.m.

 

Veronica Guerin What?!? A Jerry Bruckheimer movie that’s a character study? And it doesn’t have a soundtrack headlined by P-Did and (insert shitty rock band here)? Nah, sounds too good to be true. Plus, director Joel Schumacher ruined the “Batman” series. Damn him. At Showcase: 10:25, 12:35.

 

Wonderland Tonight on “E! True Hollywood Story:” Johnny Wadd Holmes had it all: a career atop the porno industry, great smack peddling friends, and a killer quaff —until he decided to rip off a big name drug dealer and got shanked for it. At Showcase: 12:35, 3:05, 5:25, 7:40, 10:05, 12:25.

Thursday

 

CAMPUS CINEMA

Bubba Ho-Tep Anybody who can impersonate Elvis and slay the living dead is alright in my book. State Theater: 7:15, 9:30.

 

Casa de Los Babys We use only the finest babies, produced in and shipped directly from South America. Michigan Theater: 7:15, 9:15.

 

Cuckoo Crazy love triangle between a Soviet, a Pole, and a Fin. C’mon, you know you like it. Michigan Theater: 7:00.

 

Lost in Translation See above. State Theater: 7:00, 9:15.

 

Nosferatu Black and white vampire amazement with a live organ accompaniment! Michigan Theater: 9:00.

 

MUSIC

The Ron Brooks Trio I’m gonna go as Ronnie for Halloween. Does anyone know where I can get a giant loser costume? Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $5. 662-8310.

 

Subterraneous Records MC Battle If you thought spoken word and shitty folk guitar open mic was fun, wait til you see a bunch of white kids from West Bloomfield try to rap. Damn you “8 Mile!” Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 9:30 p.m. $8. 996-8588.

 

Vermiculum Apparently, this word has something to do with cancer. Yeah, that seems about right. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.

 

THEATRE

Pushkin’s Boris Godunov Inspired by Shakespeare’s History Plays, Pushkin’s only full-length play follows a climactic struggle for power in tsarist Russia. 8 p.m., Sports Coliseum, 721 S. Fifth Ave, $35-$40; 734-764-2538.

 

miscellaneous

Suzanne Farrell Ballet As part of the St. Petersburg celebration and a symposium on George Balanchine, Farrell’s company performs an all-Balanchine program set to music of Piotr Tchaikovsky. 8:30 p.m., Power Center, $14-$42; 734-764-2538.

 

 

Friday

 

 

CAMPUS CINEMA

Bubba Ho-Tep See above. State Theater: 7:15, 9:30.

 

The Eye Hey, that’s no fair. The once blind girl now gets to see ghosts. We want to, too. Michigan Theater: 11:00

 

Lost in Translation See above. State Theater: 7:00, 9:15.

 

The Station Agent I bet you thought a friendship between a dwarf, a mother who lost her child, and a depressed hot dog vendor was only a figment of your imagination. Well, it’s not anymore. Michigan Theater: 5:00, 7:00, 9:00.

 

 

MUSIC

The Chenille Sisters I like No. 5 personally. Didn’t think I was gonna get a perfume joke in there, did you? The Ark, 316 S. Main St., 8 p.m. $20. 761-1451.

 

Sari Brown Halloween Extravaganza Nothing says extravaganza like a female singer/songwriter. It was originally Lilith Extravaganza. Didn’t know that, did you? Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tearoom, 114 S. Main, 8:30pm. Free. 665-2757.

 

THEATRE

Pushkin’s Boris Godunov See Thursday.

 

Boy’s Life follows the lives of three former college buddies through a series of fast-paced, sharply etched scenes that take place over the course of a year. 5 p.m., Arena Theatre, free.

 

Saturday

 

CAMPUS CINEMA

Bubba Ho-Tep See above. State Theater: (2:00), (4:15), 7:15, 9:30.

 

The Eye See Above. Michigan Theater: 11:00.

 

Lost in Translation See Above. State Theater: (2:15), (4:30), 7:00, 9:15.

 

The Station Agent See Above. Michigan Theater: 3:00, 5:00, 7:15, 9:15.

 

MUSIC

Hey Mercedes I actually like this band, so I’m just gonna rip on Ron Brooks some more. Hey Ron? Yeah, you suck at life. Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 8 p.m. $5. 996-8588.

 

Saffire Yes, finally, female blues musicians. At the first mention of menstruation, I’m so outta there. The Ark, 316 S. Main St., 7 p.m. $13.50. 761-1451.

 

Gigantics, The Off Ramps, Porchsleeper Ever slept on a porch? It’s really not as fun as it sounds. It gets really cold. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.

 

THEATRE

Pushkin’s Boris Godunov See Thursday, 2 p.m. & 8 p.m.

 

Boy’s Life See Friday, 7 p.m. & 11 p.m.

 

 

Sunday

 

MUSIC

Steve Kimock Band Who is this guy and where does he get off charging 25 bucks for a show at the Pig? Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 8 p.m. $25. 996-8588.

 

Michael Smith And the winner of the Least Creative Name Award goes to … Michael Smith! The Ark, 316 S. Main St., 7 p.m. $13.50. 761-1451.

 

Open Jam Session Does anyone else just picture Ronnie waiting for people to show up all night? I bet no one ever comes to jam with him. Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main St., 9 p.m. $3. 662-8310.

 

 

 

 

 

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