Thursday, Sept. 11 through Sunday, Sept. 14

Films opening

Cabin Fever Has “28 Days Later” not already taught us the most
valuable lesson of independent horror films: They are infinitely
better than any and all main-stream horror movies … ever? At
Showcase:12:40, 3:00, 3:30, 5:10, 5:40, 7:20, 7:50, 9:35, 10:05,
11:45 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.).

Matchstick Men When will jolly old Nick finally realize that
gimmicks just don’t sell the way they used to. First you’re fat,
then you have a twitch; what’s next? At Madstone: 1:10, 3:40, 7:10,
9:35 At Showcase: 12:15, 1:15, 2:45, 4:15, 5:15, 7:15, 7:45, 9:45,
10:15, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.).

No Good Deed Samuel L. is still one badass mother (shut yo
mouth!) Go see the movie. At Madstone: 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25
At Showcase: 1:00, 3:10, 5:25, 7:35, 9:55, 12:00 (Fri. and
Sat.).

Once Upon a Time in Mexico Johnny Depp is easily cooler than any
other Hollywood personality right now. Do I hear a “Man With No
Eyes” trilogy in the workings? Either way, this will be the most
badass movie of September. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:35,
9:45 At Showcase: 12:20, 12:50, 2:35, 3:05, 3:35, 4:50, 5:20, 5:50,
7:10, 7:40, 8:10, 8:10, 9:30, 10:00, 10:30, 11:50 (Fri. and Sat.),
12:20 (Fri. and Sat.).

On_Line A film by nobody you’ve ever heard of with a topic of no
interest to nobody; namely, two buddies start an internet porn
site. Did I say no interest? I meant of great importance to us
perverts everywhere. At Madstone: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30.

Films holding

American Wedding Getting rid of Chris Kline was the best move
they could have made. Well, that and having Stiffler eat a piece of
dog excrement. At Showcase:12:05, 2:15, 4:30 2.5 Stars.

Bad Boys 2 Who doesn’t love seeing rats engaging in disgusting
sexual intercourse and a conversation between the Fresh Prince and
Martin laced with heavy homosexual inuendo. At Showcase: 9:20,
12:10 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 Stars.

Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star Any movie where you’ve got
Webster and Meathead should be a winner. Too bad this movie sucks
Dickie. At Showcase: 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7:05, 9:15, 11:30 (Fri. and
Sat.) 1 Star.

Dirty Pretty Things Yes, they are, and that’s that! At Showcase:
12:25, 2:40, 4:45, 6:55, 9:05, 11:15 (Fri. And Sat.).

Finding Nemo A cartoon topping the box-office charts and landing
in the top 10 all time grossing films ever? I smell something
fishy. At Showcase: 1:25 4.5 Stars.

Freaky Friday They should rename this to “Freaky Ex-Hot Older
Woman Who Got Naked in Trading Places and Yells at People Who Try
to Interview Her.” Or not. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:15, 5:30, 7:25.

Freddy vs. Jason With the success of this monster match, new
ideas have been incessant for the studios. Just think, this time
next year we’ll be seeing the likes of Killer Klowns from Outer
Space vs. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Oh happy day! At Showcase:
12:30, 2:50, 6:35, 8:00, 10:10, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.).

The Italian Job This is one that I’d like to call “Mark and the
Funky Bunch Do Italy.” That’s not an MP, that’s a YP, your problem.
At Showcase: 5:00, 7:30, 10:00, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.).

Jeepers Creepers 2 Even the title for this film is a cop out.
How can you be afraid of something people haven’t said since 1952?
Holy Crap would be better. At Showcase: 1:10, 3:25, 5:45, 8:05,
10:25, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.).

The Magdalene Sisters Not at all depressing. That is if you like
watching little girls getting beaten and abused by nuns. At
Madstone: 1:00, 4:00, 7:15, 9:40 3 Stars.

The Medallion Jackie Chan will never use special effects in one
of his movies or he’ll retire … and monkeys might fly out of my
butt. Time to hang it up Jack. At Showcase: 12:10, 6:45.

My Boss’s Daughter Just Married and this movie should have been
enough to ruin Ashton’s career. Unfortunately you’ll be seeing him
and the unholy Paul Walker in the reinvigoration of The Dukes of
Hazard. At Showcase: 2:25, 4:35, 9:00, 11:20 (Fri. and Sat.).

Open Range Kevin Costner is back baby! At Showcase: 1:20, 4:10,
9:50, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5 Stars.

The Order There is no order here. Only non-scary sins that float
out of your body in a white gaseous form that other people can eat.
Yummy! At Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40 2 Stars.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl Again:
Johnny Depp = the man. Especially when he finally gives somebody
like Jerry Bruckheimer the break he’s been waiting for. At
Showcase: 12:35, 3:40, 6:30, 9:25, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 4
Stars.

Seabiscuit Definitely the most overrated movie of the summer.
Slow and boring, they should’ve stuck to profiling the horse. But
William H. Macy is still, of course, absolutely awesome. At
Madstone: 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45 At Showcase: 12:45, 3:45, 6:40,
9:40, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 Stars.

Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over Robert Rodriguez deserves mad props. Who
else can turn out two third installments of two different trilogies
in the same year? At Showcase: 1:30.

S.W.A.T. More like not. Oh how Collin Farrell can be so
overhyped and so not good at the same time. Only in Hollywood. At
Showcase: 12:00, 2:30, 5:05, 7:55, 10:20, 12:35 (Fri. and
Sat.).

Whale Rider If there’s one foreign film you go see this year,
make this it. At Showcase: 6:50, 9:10, 11:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 4
Stars.

Thursday

CAMPUS CINEMA

Camp So not like camp. Ruined the fun I had hoped for. State
Theater 7:15 p.m. 2.5 Stars.

Dirty Pretty Things I like kidneys too! State Theater 7 &
9:15 p.m. 4 Stars.

Le Divorce Making fun of people’s depression in a theater near
you. Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m.

Step into Liquid It’s a visual orgasm. Michigan Theater 7 &
9:15 p.m. 3 Stars.

Swimming Pool Sounds nice, but it isn’t. State Theater 9:30 p.m.
3 Stars.

MUSIC

DSO: Verdi’s Requiem In memory of the victims of the Sept. 11th,
2001 terrorist attacks, the Detroit Symphony Orchestra will open
its classical season with a performance of Verdi’s Requiem, a piece
known for its artistic, emotional and spiritual qualities. 8 p.m.,
Detroit Opera House, $15 – $60; 313-576-5111.

Fruit More angry female folk rock. Finally. Anyone else wanna
cruise this show for chicks? The Ark, 316 S. Main St. 8 p.m.
$13.50. 761-1451.

Homeland Security Fest: Cobra Youth My favorite cobra youth was
always little Storm Shadow, back in the early days. Elbow Room, 6
S. Washington St., Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.

Smokestack Sigh, it’s either a drug reference or a commentary on
corporate America’s approach to environmental concerns. Or a crappy
band name. Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 9:30 p.m. $5 ($8 under 21).
996-8588.

Friday

CAMPUS CINEMA

American Splendor It’s funny, just like the comic. Trust me.
Michigan Theater 7 & 9:15 p.m. 4 Stars.

Dirty Pretty Things State Theater 7:15 & 9:45 p.m.

Le Divorce State Theater 7 p.m.

Step into Liquid Michigan Theater 7:15 & 9:30 p.m.

Swimming Pool State Theater 9:30 p.m.

MUSIC

DSO: Verdi’s Requiem See Thursday.

Tim Reynolds Expect to see thousands of dudes in backwards hats
who are somehow on a first name basis with this guy. DMB still
blows. Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. $18.
996-8588.

Lonesome Dan Kase Originally called Always in Good Company Dan
Kase, but that was just a lie. Crazy Wisdom Bookstore and Tearoom,
114 S. Main, 8:30pm. Free. 665-2757.

Jeff Hamilton Trio I think it’s an unwritten law that you’re not
allowed to have more than three people in your band at the Bird.
Ronnie enforces it with an iron fist. Bird of Paradise, 312 S. Main
St., 8:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. $20 ($15 student). 662-8310.

Saturday

CAMPUS CINEMA

American Splendor Michigan Theater 4, 7 & 9:15 p.m.

Dirty Pretty Things State Theater 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 &
11:45 p.m.

Le Divorce State Theater 2, 4:30 & 7 p.m.

Step into Liquid Michigan Theater 4:15, 7:15 & 9:30 p.m.

Swimming Pool State Theater 9:30 p.m.

MUSIC

Charlie Dentel Next you’ll be saying they should have their own
schools. You’re a raving anti-dentite! Espresso Royal Caffe, 214 S.
Main St., 9 p.m. Free. 668-1838.

DSO: Verdi’s Requiem See Thursday, 8:30 p.m.

Nokia Sugar Bowl Hear it, See it, Play It Tour Kickoff your
Football Saturday with free food and music at Elbel Field from
10:30-3:30. Bands performing include, Wakefield, Josh Todd and
Riddlin’ Kids.

Steve Nardella, George Bedard and Mr. B Mmmm, rockabilly. Let’s
play, Betty Page tattoo bingo. The Firefly Club, 207 S. Ashley St.,
9 p.m. $20. 665-9090.

The Bang! It’s an indie-rock dance party! Where else can you
hear the Jesus and Mary Chain, Depeche Mode and Ludicris in the
same night? Blind Pig, 208 S. First St., 9:30 p.m. $6 ($9 under
21). 996-8588.

Sunday

CAMPUS CINEMA

American Splendor Michigan Theater 4:15, 6:45 & 9 p.m.

Dirty Pretty Things State Theater 2:15, 4:45, 7:15 & 9:45
p.m.

Le Divorce State Theater 2, 4:30 & 7 p.m.

Step into Liquid Michigan Theater 6:30 & 8:45 p.m.

Swimming Pool State Theater 9:30 p.m.

To Have and Have Not It’s old, that’s for sure. Michigan Theater
4 p.m.

MUSIC

Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash He must be spinning in his grave.
Yeah, I know he’s not dead. Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St.,
Ypsilanti, 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.

Phil Ogilvie’s Rhythm Kings The Duke of Meter is gonna be so
pissed. The Firefly Club, 207 S. Ashley St., 5 p.m. $7.
665-9090.

Danu When will people learn that Irish folk music isn’t gonna
get you any chicks. The real money is in jam bands these days,
don’t you know that? The Ark, 316 S. Main St. 7:30 p.m. $13.50.
761-1451.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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