Jersey Girl Ben Affleck better be thankful that Kevin Smith is a
helluva nice guy. We surely know that, if we were casting for a
movie, we wouldn’t take a bum whose last feature role was the
lead in “Gigli.” At Showcase: 12:20, 2:35, 5:05, 7:25,
The Ladykillers It’s going to be difficult to enjoy Tom
Hanks in a comedic role. We’ve all become used to watching
him as a quirky sap who gets romantically lost at sea or who spends
his time sending cute e-mails to a single gal. At Showcase: 12:10,
2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:30, 11:45. At Madstone: 1:00, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30,
Never Die Alone If you’re going to bite the dust, you
might as well take a few other homies with you. Good
thinkin’, DMX. At Showcase: 12:55, 2:55, 4:55, 6:55, 9:00,
Oligarkh (Tycoon: A New Russian) Do they think we’ll be
fazed by the fact that this is the highest-grossing film in Russian
history? That ain’t nothing here in the U. S. of A. At
Madstone: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:35.
Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed This is another one of those
releases that makes you wonder how it was ever approved. At
Showcase: Noon, 12:30, 1:00, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30,
6:40, 7:10, 7:40, 9:20, 11:25.
50 First Dates Adam Sandler must be greatly disheartened by the
fact that several of his highest-grossing comedies have been crappy
romantic affairs with Drew Barrymore and Rob Schneider. That must
really suck. At Showcase: Noon, 2:10, 4:25, 6:45, 9:00. At
Madstone: 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15.
Dawn of the Dead Supposedly it loses much of the
original’s anti-consumer undertones . At Showcase: 12:40,
1:10, 1:40, 3:00, 3:30, 4:15, 5:15, 5:45, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 9:15,
9:45, 10:15, 11:30, Midnight, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.).
Hidalgo Viggo Mortensen is obviously not a good cowboy. He was
on top of his game as the drill instructor in “G.I.
Jane” and as Aragorn in the “Lord of the Rings”
movies, but he just can’t make it happen on a saddle. At
Showcase: 12:50, 3:40, 6:30, 9:25. At Madstone: 1:30, 4:15, 7:05,
The Passion of the Christ We probably should probably add
violent depictions of Christ’s final hours to the list of
cinematic scenarios that are guaranteed to make money. At Showcase:
12:15, 12:45, 1:15, 1:45, 2:50, 4:05, 4:35, 5:35, 6:35, 7:05, 7:35,
8:05, 9:05, 9:35. At Madstone: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:45.
Secret Window What will it take to convince people that Stephen
King no longer writes decent material? “The Shining”
and “Pet Sematary” were darn fine movies, but their
goodness is no reason to support the current garbage he’s
putting out. At Showcase: 1:20, 3:25, 5:40, 7:55, 10:00, 10:30,
12:10, 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.). At Madstone: 1:15, 3:20, 5:25, 7:30,
Starsky & Hutch How do people enjoy watching Owen Wilson?
He’s a complete klutz with the infantile brains of Keanu
Reeves and only half the good looks. Ben Stiller should set his
standards a bit higher. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:20, 5:50, 8:10, 9:50,
10:20, Midnight, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.).
Taking Lives Giving an honest description of this movie would no
doubt harm its already abysmal performance. So, in the spirit of
generosity, I’ll do it about the only favor I can imagine
doing it: telling you that Angelina Jolie gets naked. At Showcase:
12:25, 2:40, 3:10, 4:50, 5:20, 7:45, 9:55, 10:25, 12:05 (Fri. and
Sat.), 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.).
Twisted It’s too bad that this movie list has to end with
a couple of piss-poor thrillers. At least “Taking
Lives” makes use of Angelina Jolie’s nakedness. This
film is completely irredeemable, and there’s no reason to try
to make it sound any better. At Showcase: 12:15 (Fri. and
Phone Numbers: Michigan Theater: 668-8397; Quality 16: 827-2837;
Showcase: 973-8380; State: 761-8667.
Showtimes are effective Friday through Thursday. Matinee times
at State Theater are effective for Saturday and Sunday only.
The Company Boo hoo. Nobody gives a damn about ballet. At
Michigan Theater. 7:00, 9:30.
The Same River Twice Intriguing love story that unfolds in the
Grand Canyon . At Michigan Theater. 7:15, 9:15.
Touching the Void Some dude gets a really sweet knee injury. At
State Theater. 7:00, 9:15.
The Triplets of Belleville Have you ever seen silent animation?
Have you ever seen silent animation on weed? At State Theater.
The Tallis Scholars The Tallis Scholars are the leading
interpreters of Renaissance sacred music. St. Francis of Assisi
Catholic Church. 8 p.m. $30-$40. 764-2538.
Don Giovani Come experience a powerful opera about a devilish
charmer performed by the University’s School of Music.
Mendelssohn Theater. 8 p.m. $8-$20. 764-2538.
The Glue Factory “The Glue Factory” follows the
lives of five apartments and their experiences during the blackout
of August 2003. Arena Theater. 7 p.m. Free.
The Company See Thursday. At Michigan Theater. 7:00, 9:30.
Fog of War Hey, General McNamara, you’re on Candid Camera.
At State Theater. 9:15.
Kitchen Stories A provocative tour-de-force about observing
people’s kitchen habits. At Michigan Theater. 7:15, 9:15.
Triplets of Belleville See Thursday. At State Theater: 7:15,
Touching the Void See Thursday. At State Theater. 7:00.
The Scars Only the festering and oozing kind tonight, none of
the little sissy ones you got when your cat got run over. The Elbow
Room, 6 S. Washington St., Ypsilanti. 10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.
Michael Johnson Stomping those slow soul singers from the former
Soviet Union. First United Methodist Church, 1001 Green Road. 8
p.m. Free. 665-8558.
Lady Sunshine & the X Band The former mistress of KC’s
backing band is back, and with her own terrifying collection of
rave-kids. The Firefly Club, 207 S. Ashley St. 9 p.m. $10.
Don Giovani See Thursday.
The Glue Factory See Thursday.
The Company See Thursday. At Michigan Theater. 7:00, 9:30.
Fog of War See Friday. At State Theater. 2:15, 9:15.
Kitchen Stories See Friday. At Michigan Theater. 4:15, 7:15,
Touching the Void See Thursday. At State Theater. 4:30, 7:00,
Triplets of Belleville See Thursday. At State Theater. 2:00,
4:45, 7:15, 9:30, 11:45.
The Red Shift Astronomy is sweet man, don’t let anyone
tell you different. The Elbow Room, 6 S. Washington St., Ypsilanti.
10 p.m. $5. 483-6374.
Odessa Harris Much like the capital of Ukraine but with more
funk and much less infant mortality. Goodnite Gracie, 301 W. Huron
St. 9:30 p.m. Free. 623-2070
The Bridge Club Mostly old country-club women and lonely, lonely
math majors who think they can count cards. The Drowsy Parrot, 105
N. Ann Arbor Road, Saline, 8 p.m. Free. 429-8595
Jazz at Lincoln Center’s Afro-Latin Jazz Orchestra
Experience how the music of Machito, Mario Bauza, Rene Hernandez,
Antonio Carlos Jobim and other Latin jazz greats ignited the dance
floor in this one-night engagement. Hill Auditorium. 8 p.m.