Films opening

A Man Apart Early hopeful for this year’s Razzies. It’s right up there with Diesel’s incomparable “Knockaround Guys.” At Showcase: 12:15, 2:40, 5:00, 7:25, 9:50, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.)

Dysfunktional Family Film escapism at its best, and Eddie Griffin returns to the screen. Maybe this’ll be good … and monkeys might fly out of my butt! Pshaw right! At Showcase: 1:10, 1:40, 3:10, 3:40, 5:05, 5:35, 7:05, 7:35, 9:05, 9:35, 11:10 (Fri. and Sat.), 11:40 (Fri. and Sat.)

Love Liza Phillip Seymour Hoffman sniffing model-airplane glue … go see it. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10

Phone Booth “Panic Room” confined to a spacious phonebooth. Need I say more. At Madstone: 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, 9:30 At Showcase: 1:05, 3:15, 5:30, 7:50, 9:55, 11:55 (Fri. and Sat.)

What a Girl Wants Will not be a topic discussed at any point in this movie, so any person with testicles should avoid it. At Showcase: 12:00, 12:30, 2:20, 2:50, 4:45, 5:15, 7:00, 7:30, 9:15, 9:45, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.)

Films holding

Adaptation Still standing, still strong. At least one good movie’s still running. At Madstone: 3:45, 9:45 5 stars

Agent Cody Banks Looking for new action heroes, good ole Hollywood is really digging deep. Not that pre-pubescent Frankie Muniz isn’t a good action star, but talk about robbing the cradle. At Showcase: 12:05, 2:15, 4:30, 6:45 5 stars

Basic It’s true, Travolta lost 50 pounds and he’s still festively plump. Remember when he used to be good? We don’t. At Showcase: 12:55, 1:25, 3:05, 3:35, 5:15, 5:45, 7:40, 8:10, 9:50, 10:20, 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars

Bowling for ColumbineDon’t believe the hype, especially when half of the information in this movie is fabricated or edited for effect. At Madstone: 3:00, 7:10, 9:40 4 stars

Bringing Down the House I’d STILL rather watch Daniel Day Lewis eat lunch for two hours. At Showcase: 12:10, 2:25, 4:50, 7:05, 9:20, 11:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 1.5 stars

Chicago Didn’t deserve six Oscars. Definitely didn’t deserve. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:35, 7:15, 9:35 At Showcase: 12:10, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:40, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars

The Core Disaster movies are supposed to carry more weight with impending danger, such as war. This one doesn’t. At Showcase: 12:45, 1:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:40, 7:10, 9:30, 12:20 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars

Dreamcatcher Stephen King dares to go where every other current film has already gone: into the bathroom. It’s hard to win over an audience when the bad guy in your particular movie is labeled the Shit Weasel. At Showcase: 12:35, 3:30, 6:30, 9:25, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars

Head of State Once again Bernie Mac is funny, and once again Chris Rock just isn’t. Maybe these damned people should just stick to what made them famous in the first place. Go back to the stage. At Showcase: 12:20, 12:50, 2:30, 3:00, 4:40, 5:10, 6:50, 7:20, 9:10, 9:40, 11:20 (Fri. and Sat.), 11:50 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars

His Girl Friday Triumphant return of long dead movie stars. It’s old and it’s oh-so-good. At Madstone: 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, 9:00

The Hours By a nose? Very creative Denzel. At Madstone: 1:20, 7:20 At Showcase: 10:00, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Any girl who ever does anything remotely similar to Kate Hudson’s actions in this film deserves a swift kick in the face. See also: Winona Ryder. At Showcase: 12:25, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45, 10:10, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5 stars

The Hunted You would never think it by the unconventional name, but here we have yet another prized piece of production from the pitiful Hollywood pisspool. At Showcase: 1:20, 3:25, 5:40, 8:00, 10:25, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 stars

Old School The only funny movie that has come out yet this year. See it if you haven’t already. If you see it more than twice, you’re playing with yourself. At Showcase: 8:15, 10:15, 12:20 (Fri. and Sat.) 2.5 stars

The Pianist So, all you need to do is commit statutory rape and/or pee on a 13 year old girl and you too can have your very own Academy Award/bestselling album. Only in America! At Showcase: 1:00, 4:00, 6:55 5 stars

Piglet’s Big Movie And man oh man is it big! Eat your heart out Pooh. At Showcase: 12:40, 2:45, 4:35, 6:35

Spirited Away At least the first award given out was a much deserved one. At Madstone: 1:25, 4:15, 7:00, 9:30 5 stars

Tears of the Sun Fuqua should’ve just kept banking on “Training Day,” but money is money. At Showcase: 10:05, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars

View from the Top More than a waste of time or money, it’s a detriment to society to sit through this film. At Madstone: 1:00, 5:20 At Showcase: 9:00, 11:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *