Films Opening
Dark Blue Talk about grabbing for thin air, Kurt Russel vs. Ving Rhames sounds more like a midnight movie on TNT. The tagline could use another sworn though, because otherwise I don’t really believe Cash having built L.A. with bullets. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:40, 7:10, 9:30 At Showcase: 12:10, 2:40, 5:10, 7:45, 10:15, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.)
Gods and Generals If you felt ripped off by “Daredevil,” you certainly won’t be too pleased with the missing 2.5 hours of footage saved for the six hour DVD. Certainly just under four hours of a Civil War movie with Jeff Daniels isn’t enough. At Showcase: 1:30, 7:00
The Life of David Gale Pick any three death row dramas, mix them with a novel a la “A Time to Kill” and you’ve got the newest piece of Kevin Spacey mishmash tear-jerker. Maybe it’ll be good, and maybe they’ll make a sequel to “BAPS.” At Madstone: 1:20, 3:45, 7:20, 9:45 Showcase: 1:45, 4:35, 7:15, 10:00, 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.)
Old School Some will undoubtedly find it funny, others will turn and run, but a select few will truly understand the gravity of Will Ferrell running the naked mile. “Animal House” anybody? At Showcase: 12:45, 3:00, 5:15, 6:50, 7:20, 9:25, 9:55, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.)
Films Holding
About Schmidt Jack’s gonna win the Oscar, “About a Boy” getting a screenplay nomination over this makes him a sure bet. Another sure bet: Lara Flynn-Boyle will never look like Warren Schmidt. At Showcase: 1:20, 4:00, 6:35, 9:10, 11:45 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars
Adaptation If Bill gets a best actor nomination, and Julianne gets two, then why not give a nod to Nick for best supporting actor too? At Madstone: 1:20, 3:50, 7:20, 9:45 5 stars
Biker Boyz No wonder Fishburne can lower himself to such tripe, just look at an old episode of “PeeWee’s Playhouse” to know why. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:25, 5:45, 8:05, 10:25, 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.) 1.5 stars
Bowling for Columbine Guns don’t kill people … stupid white people with guns kill people, and then Michael Moore comes over and makes fun of them. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:40, 7:10, 9:40 4 stars
Catch Me if You Can Note to self: Never trust a girl over 17 who still has braces, especially when you can have Jennifer Garner pay you to sleep with her. At Showcase: 12:55, 3:45, 6:40, 9:25, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars
Chicago John C. Reily gets this year’s Phillip Seymour Hoffman Award for best actor to appear in every movie you’ve seen and you still don’t know his real name. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:35, 7:15, 9:35 At Showcase: 12:15, 12:45, 2:40, 5:10, 6:30, 7:30, 9:50, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind “Joe Millionaire” should go to hell, along with that damn genre that spawned “Married by America.” Oh, how much gratitude we owe Chuck Barris. At Showcase: 10:00, 12:20 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars
Daredevil It’s not so much the problem that Ben Affleck can’t act and has built in nipples on his leather suit, but the fact that he is blind but he can see. At Showcase: 12:00, 12:30, 1:00, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.) 1 star
Darkness Falls A bad movie. A bad, bad, bad, bad, bad movie. And that’s being nice. At Showcase: 5:50, 10:30, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 1.5 stars
Deliver Us from Eva Sounds like something that should be stayed far away from, and something that would have a nice ring for a collider at Rod’s. At Showcase: 12:40, 2:55, 5:15, 7:40, 9:55, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars
Final Destination 2 Existentialism at its finest. Makes you wonder if ideas like these were really what Kierkegaard had in mind. Oh well, Ali Larter is reason enough. At Showcase: 1:25, 3:30, 5:40, 7:55, 10:20, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 1 star
Frida I can see why this would be up for best makeup, seeing as how the arduous hours spent crafting the world’s finest unibrow have thus far gone unpraised. At Madstone: 1:05, 3:30, 7:05, 9:30 4 stars
Gangs of New York What if New York were still New Amsterdam. Would Leo’s name be York and Bill consider himself Amsterdam? Good luck Marty. At Madstone: 1:30, 5:00, 8:15 At Showcase: 3:10, 9:05 5 stars
The Guru Further proof that Heather Graham should never be allowed to act again. At Showcase: 12:50, 3:00, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30, 11:40 (Fri. and Sat.) 0 stars
The Hours Depressed people leading depressing lives to make all of us realize how depressing life is. Sounds like a real uplifting film, or one that should be forgotten in the basement of Hollywood. At Showcase: 1:40, 4:20, 6:55, 9:20, 11:50 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Any girl who ever does anything remotely similar to Kate Hudson’s actions in this film deserves a swift kick in the face. Maybe just not going out with her would do. At Showcase: 12:05, 1:30, 2:35, 4:15, 5:05, 7:05, 7:35, 9:35, 10:05, 11:55 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:55 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5 stars
Just Married A match made in the land that spawned such video game ideas as “Ming vs. Mini-me and the NBA Playoffs” and “Fun with Dirt.” At Showcase: 1:35, 3:40, 8:15 3 stars
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! If only Chunk could see you now. At Showcase: 1:10, 4:40, 8:10, 11:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars
The Recruit Nothing is what it seems … but if you’ve seen the previews, then everything has already been given away. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:45, 7:20, 9:45 At Showcase: 12:25, 2:50, 5:25, 7:50, 10:10, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 stars
Shanghai Knights They should just make a Jackie Chan movie for release every three months. Then if you missed the one before, you can still see the same thing three months later. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:40, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 stars