Films opening
Daredevil Like anybody really believes Ben could be a superhero, much less blind. But for a Valentine’s treat, the women get to see him in a tight leather suit with built-in nipples. At Showcase: 12:00, 12:30, 1:00, 2:15, 2:45, 3:15, 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15, 11:30 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:00 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:30 (Fri. and Sat.)
The Guru A much needed reinvention of Heather Graham. This could be her best move since “Diggstown.” At Showcase: 12:50, 3:00, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30, 11:40 (Fri. and Sat.)
Jungle Book 2 After the success of the first one – 35 years ago! – Disney finally realized the demand for a, now much anticipated, sequel. Baloo … here I come! At Showcase: 1:15, 3:05, 4:55, 7:00, 9:00, 11:00 (Fri. and Sat.)
Films holding
About Schmidt It’s not so much something you want to take a date to as something that makes you want to pee all over the bathroom and feel good about it. At Showcase: 1:20, 4:00, 6:35, 9:10, 11:45 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars
Adaptation As a matter of principle, this is an avoider for Friday. That is, of course, unless you would prefer to watch an aging Meryl Streep, a toothless Chris Cooper, and two fat, bald Nicholas Cages, one of which has a habit of tickling his pickle not in the metaphorical sense. At Madstone: 1:20, 3:50, 7:20, 9:45 5 stars
Biker Boyz A movie about guys who love their mystical motorcycles, and the women who love them … and the men they want to be like … and Rufio. At Showcase: 1:05, 3:25, 5:45, 8:05, 10:25, 12:40 (Fri. and Sat.) 1.5 stars
Bowling for Columbine Definitely the movie for lovers in full bloom. If your special someone likes guns and haircuts, this one’s for you. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:40, 7:10, 9:40
Catch Me if You Can Or Great ways to get chicks to pay you to have sex with them. If only it could always be Jenifer Gardner who falls for it. At Showcase: 12:55, 3:45, 6:40, 9:25, 12:15 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars
Chicago “How to Shoot a Guy and Go Free without 10-20.” How could a film like that not be nominated for every single Oscar in every slot possible. At Madstone: 1:15, 3:35, 7:15, 9:35 At Showcase: 12:15, 12:45, 2:40, 5:10, 6:30, 7:30, 9:50, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind The inspiration for crap like “Joe Millionaire.” At least you knew there would be some kind of ending for every damned episode! What a crock. At Showcase: 10:00, 12:20 (Fri. and Sat.) 4 stars
Darkness Falls Not a date movie, not even close. Stay away or it’ll ruin all possible future fantasy enactments involving the Tooth Fairy, and we all know that would put a damper on Valentine’s Day. At Showcase: 5:50, 10:30, 12:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 1.5 stars
Deliver Us from Eva Could be worse … It could be something like “Deliver us from Steva,” with Freddie Prinze Jr. no less. At Showcase: 12:40, 2:55, 5:15, 7:40, 9:55, 12:10 (Fri. and Sat.) 2 stars
Final Destination 2 Makes you wonder if you would yank down on a fire escape ladder and then not move when it began to fall on you; possibly the toughest decision I could think of. At Showcase: 1:25, 3:30, 5:40, 7:55, 10:20, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 1 star
Frida For big-boned painters and hairy women alike, there’s someone for everybody. At Madstone: 1:05, 3:30, 7:05, 9:30 4 stars
Gangs of New York Here’s a good one for all the lonely hearts who’ll be spending their Friday and 19th century opium dens. At Madstone: 1:30, 5:00, 8:15 At Showcase: 3:10, 9:05 5 stars
The Hours Official proof that the academy has now gone to shit. Thank you Mrs. Dalloway. At Showcase: 1:40, 4:20, 6:55, 9:20, 11:50 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days If ever there was a film that epitomizes a Valentine’s Day flick, this would take the cake. Good advice for how to stay with someone who should really be punched in the face. At Showcase: 12:05, 1:30, 2:35, 4:15, 5:05, 7:05, 7:35, 9:35, 10:05, 11:55 (Fri. and Sat.), 12:55 (Fri. and Sat.) 3.5 stars
Just Married Would be so much more interesting if Kelso was about the size of Yao and Britanny looked a little like Tiny Tim. That’s entertainment! At Showcase: 1:35, 3:40, 8:15 3 stars
Kangaroo Jack Isn’t it romantic? The Sugar Hill Gang will never be the same. Low down, dirty kangaroo. At Showcase: 12:10, 2:10, 4:05, 6:00, 8:00 0 stars
The Lord of the Rings: The Two TowersA great movie for any and all occasions. It’s a love story and a little bit of Lembas. At Showcase: 1:10, 4:40, 8:10, 11:35 (Fri. and Sat.) 5 stars
The Recruit Solid return for Al Pacino. Bobby D should be taking notes or Marlon Brando may have a replacement. At Madstone: 1:10, 3:45, 7:20, 9:45 At Showcase: 12:25, 2:50, 5:25, 7:50, 10:10, 12:25 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 stars
Shanghai Knights Owen Wilson as a Gigolo – now there’s something you won’t see everyday. Special Valentine: a great idea about getting with your best friend’s sister. At Showcase: 12:00, 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:40, 12:05 (Fri. and Sat.) 3 stars