Figures in Millions of dollars.
1. Don”t Say a Word ($19.0) The only words, and I”m whispering them, are “it sucks ass.”
2. Zoolander ($15.5) A movie about male models lost to bad Michael Douglas movie. Obviously, this speaks volumes.
3. Hearts in Atlantis ($9.0) Instead of being filled with blood, these hearts are filled with water, from the drowned.
4. Hardball ($5.1) With Barry Bonds at the cusp of the record books you”d think more people would be going out to see Keanu.
5. The Others ($4.7) The other movies on this list are pretty horrendous too.
6. Rush Hour 2 ($2.4) Most lucrative black-asian fusion since Le Tigre.
7. The Glass House ($2.1) Those who live in stones should not throw glass houses.
8. The Musketeer ($1.7) I”m relieved to see that people aren”t going to see this shit-fest in droves.
9. Rat Race ($1.7) Okay, here”s the ending: They split up the money and Smashmouth is there. And What”s worse, they give it up to charity.
10. Two Can Play That Game ($1.6) Two won”t be seeing this movie as it is about to drop off the top ten, into “Glitter” territory.