Gross in millions of dollars

1. Just Married (17.5) – Dude, where’s our cyanide capsule? For killing ourselves. Because the movie is so bad.

2. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (14.8) – Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?

3. Catch Me If You Can (14.6) – Leo shaved his dirt-stache from “Gangs” for this role. Thank Christ.

4. Two Weeks Notice (6.8) – The only pair we can think of with worse chemistry than Hugh and Sandra is Jennifer and Ralph.

5. About Schmidt (6.4) – The lynch-pin of any Oscar grab: An old, naked, gravity-stricken woman.

6. Chicago (5.6) – Ren

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