Gross in millions of dollars

1. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (32.1) – The secret is that you should save your money for “The Two Towers.”

2. Die Another Day (31.0) – Has there ever been a good movie with hovercrafts in it? We’re sure there’s at least one.

3. The Santa Clause 2 (12.3) – He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so Tim Allen was a cokehead. Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?

4. Treasure Planet (11.9) – Come on. There have to be some fairy tales that haven’t been done yet. Do they really need this?

5. Eight Crazy Nights (10.1) – Coincidentally, this is how long we predict the movie will be in theaters.

6. Friday After Next (7.8) – “Barbershop” looks like a masterpiece compared to this steamer.

7. Solaris (6.8) – Get your Clooney booty quota here.

8. 8 Mile (5.9) – We like Eminem now. He raps happy.

9. They (5.7) – They talk a lot, don’t they? They certainly do …

10. The Ring (5.5) – It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing.

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