Figures in millions of dollars.

1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer”s Stone (23.6) Ha ha, can”t even beat a stupid boat. Bitch.

2. Behind Enemy Lines (18.7) Owen Wilson fighting the Serbs. Hope they get him.

3. Spy Game (11.0) I could so kick Brad Pitts ass. And I would, if I hand”t busted my leg last week. Seriously.

4. Monsters Inc (9.1) Good God, my ass could make more money. Disney sucks ass.

5. Black Knight (5.5) Get it, he”s black!

6. Shallow Hal (4.5) Get yer ass to K-town right now.

7. Out Cold (2.7) I knew “Cool as Ice,” “Cool as Ice” was a friend of mine, you, sir, are no “Cool as Ice.”

8. Domestic Disturbance (1.9) He actually punches AT the camera, like he”s punching the audience!

9. Amlie (1.3) A good foriegn film on the top ten? Armegeddon has arrived.

10. Heist (1.1) I liked this movie better the first time when it was called … Wait, no I didn”t.

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