Scientology at its best: KATIE HOLMES, wife of Tom Cruise, completed the New York City Marathon in five hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds. But LANCE ARMSTRONG is still God. He finished the NYC marathon in two hours and 46 minutes. That’s, like, nearly 26 straight six-minute miles. Holy. Shit. SHIA LABEOUF was arrested on Sunday morning after he refused to leave a Walgreens convenience store around 2:30 a.m. Yes, he was drunk. We knew the kid was tough – he did make it through that drek-fest “Transformers” – but this is something else.

Didn’t you know? THE EAGLES still got it. Your dad’s favorite band outdid Britney Spears on the Billboard charts. Who says (tepid) rock’n’roll is dead? Slow week: GEORGE CLOONEY and FABIO got in a scuffle at some bar where people like Clooney and Fabio carouse. Apparently Clooney thought Fabio’s entourage was taking pictures of him, Fabio called him a diva and the two shoved each other around. Go Hollywood!

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