– Keifer Sutherland to serve 48 days in jail.

– Jennifer Lopez is finally pregnant. Big belly to match that big ass.

– Lily Allen loses weight via hypnosis. No, really. One, two, three, you don’t want fish n’ chips. Wake up!

– Lindsay Lohan swears she’s finally turning her life around – from rehab. Third time’s a charm.

– Britney Spears charged with hit-and-run (too many puns).

– Pamela Anderson’s 24-hour-notice nuptials Saturday lead to a fake cardboard wedding cake for lack of time. It wouldn’t be the first time she faked it (bazing!).

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