Anyone who expects “Tarzan,” the new WB drama, to take place in the jungle and feature some big muscular guy beating his chest while saying, “Me hungry” is sadly mistaken. Confusing storylines, a lack of realism and a bizarre premise set the stage for another typical WB Sunday night of television.

Travis Fimmel plays Tarzan, who now resides in Manhattan. The back-story tells of a plane crash in the wilderness many years ago that young John Clayton Jr. (Tarzan) somehow survived. After years of jungle life, this beefier Leonardo DiCaprio can climb walls, take on entire police squadrons in cheesy slow-motion fight sequences and break out of prison no less than two times in the first episode.

Meanwhile, Tarzan’s uncle Richard (Mitch Peleggi, “X-Files), who runs the successful Greystroke Industries, is trying to lock him up. This is a new twist on an old tale, and although far-fetched, it still has some value.

However, the other major storyline comes out of nowhere, as the show takes on an “NYPD Blue.” The actual lead character is Jane Porter, a sensible cop who is teamed with self-assured, quick-witted Sam Sullivan (Miguel A. Nu–ez Jr.) as they try to uncover a serial arsonist. Somehow, Tarzan constantly intervenes on Jane’s behalf, even saving her life at one point, ala Superman.

Tarzan like Jane. Jane have detective boyfriend. Love trouble ensue.

The show’s focus is the poorly-portrayed officers, where Tarzan’s only function is to run in, make the save, hit on Jane and run away to avoid capture.

The ongoing storyline between Tarzan and Jane, coupled with Lucy Lawless’ debut in the coming weeks as Richard’s sister could be interesting, but the irrational police plot will distract audiences, take up unnecessary time and offer nothing new. This show is already a damsel-in-distress, and don’t expect any hero to come swinging in on vines to save it.

Rating: 2 1/2 stars

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