The Michigan Daily: Hey, is this Scott?

Random: Yeah.

TMD: Congratulations! You’ve been chosen from
millions of students for The Michigan Daily Random Student
Interview.

R: Haha, the random what?

TMD: The random student interview.

R: OK …

TMD: It’s for Weekend Magazine on Thursday. We call
a random student and have a convo and ask some questions.

R: OK.

TMD: Before we start, are you funny and interesting? We
have high expectations here at Weekend Magazine.

R: Yes I am.

TMD: Then this should be a good interview. What do you
think of the labor problems going on with the LEO?

R: I think it’s weird because I never had a
lecturer before, so it’s hard for me to see how they are
different from professors. I don’t think it’s really
effective for them to strike for one day. It’s just because
they had a meeting and said, “OK we have to get this resolved
or we’re striking tomorrow.”

TMD: I think a love-in is a great follow up to a
walkout.

R: A love-in?

TMD: In the old days, the hippies would all gather
together and share the love.

R: Haha, we should do that. Cover the fishbowl and have
everyone come in.

TMD: Did you check out the Hash Bash?

R: Uh, yeah. The funniest thing I saw from the Hash Bash
was this one guy with a guitar, and he was just walking and these
two bike cops go past him and he starts singing and playing the
theme from “Cops.”

TMD: (Laughs) That’s absolutely poetic and
beautiful. Did you have your own “private” Hash Bash
ceremony?

R: No, I’m not into that.

TMD: That’s wise to say that; those cops might be
reading. Going along with Ann Arbor traditions, is the Naked Mile
officially dead?

R: Yeah, I don’t think people will even think about
doing it. It will be a thing of the past.

TMD: Any other Ann Arbor traditions worth doing before
it’s all over? Or any new ones to add to the list?

R: I don’t know … I’m big into the
basketball here.

TMD: I think everyone should have sex in the grad library
at least once.

R: Absolutely, and then mark it on the ventilators so I
can read it when I’m bored. I’ve had conversations with
people back and forth from the stacks.

TMD: And you don’t even know who they are? So if
you could have anyone standing with their back to you while they
look down a long flight of stairs and you could give them a little
nudge, who would it be?

R: An administrative person?

TMD: Anyone and no one will catch you. Just nudge and
leave. One person.

R: Hmmm… Tough one. (Thinks deeply) Um…
I’m gonna have to go with Jim Tressel, the football coach
from Ohio State.

TMD: You’d give him a nudge?

R: Yeah, those sweater vests…

TMD: Not working for you huh? Understandable, and how is
Passover going for you?

R: Good.

TMD: Have you partaken in any of the Jewish goodness from
the dorms?

R: I had some matzo the other day.

TMD: Did you enjoy it?

R: No, that stuff’s pretty stale, man. I know
you’re supposed to put all the stuff on it but…

TMD: Did your not enjoying it have anything to do with
your raging anti-Semitism inspired by “The
Passion?”

R: No, I’m not anti-Semitic. (Laughs) It just
doesn’t taste good.

TMD: Hmm … (gives the squinty eyes over the phone)
or so Mel Gibson would have you believe. I heard that when it
starts to get warm, people get excited and start under-dressing and
that pisses the weather off so it gets cold again. And thus
it’s April and we are barely getting any sun. Thoughts?

R: I’m going to have to disagree with that. I
don’t think that Mother Nature would be pissed because we
have so many winter months with girls wearing sweat pants and
sweatshirts that we need one day where I can see a girl in a skirt.
Too much winter with the big jackets.

TMD: That’s understandable.

R: I need something to stare at.

TMD: Are you one of those people who wears shorts when
it’s 40 degrees outside?

R: Absolutely.

TMD: So girls should wear skirts when it’s 30
degrees just to spice things up for you?

R: I think they should have to do it at least once during
the winter

TMD: They should announce that as an LSA prerequisite.
But only with good legs?

R: Yeah, that would narrow it down here.

TMD: Any departing words of wisdom for the University
campus?

R: Just party like hell before exams.

TMD: Wise words. Look for this tomorrow.

R: Thanks, bye.

TMD: Cool, take it easy.

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