Hollywood’s underage crowd has been outdoing itself lately. Last week, Forbes magazine released its richest young ‘uns under 21, and the vampirish Olsen twins topped the list with reported $40 million earnings last year from their Dualstar empire, which includes kiddie retail lines and straight-to-DVD movies. Sadly, from the looks of things, both will perish with the sunrise, so they won’t be able to enjoy the fortune they’ve spent on ratty fur coats and foot-deforming Balenciaga booties.

Coming in second? Harry Potter himself, earning an estimated $18 million in 2006. Parents everywhere might want to avoid pointing him out as a role model, however, considering his latest theatrical achievement – getting naked on a London stage as a horse-obsessed teenager in “Equus” (the full-frontal pictures are up).

Lindsey Lohan made the list, too, although between rehab, cigarettes and more handbags than she can possibly use, that fortune will no doubt drain very quickly. Did anyone else think she was 21? How does someone attend AA meetings when they’re not even legal? Legal or not, She’s also been seen hitting the clubs nearly every night since she left rehab not too long ago. That’s the way, Lindsay. Others might say stay away from temptation, but I say the best way to fight fire is with fire.

The Barton sisters have also known their share of temptation. Last week, 19-year-old Hania Barton (did anyone know who Hania was until a few days ago?) was caught crunching pills big enough to sedate a horse. A family announcement that she was checking into rehab for an addiction to prescription drugs quickly followed. Not to be undone, big sister Mischa (of late “O.C,” fame) paraded around for the paparazzi with a “cigarette” in hand.

As much as we hate to admit that Hilary might be the only one of her star generation to turn out somewhat normal (there’s no love lost between that Duff and us), it’s a little annoying that it seems to be the card she’s playing the most. Duff’s newest album is titled With Dignity, and while Duff hasn’t been seen partying down in the clubs of Los Angeles, she’s more boring than anything else.

And speaking of boring, one final note. Erstwhile Spelling heir Tori, eternally pregnant (doesn’t it seem like it’s been about two years now?), opened a bed and breakfast with husband Dean McDermott. We’re now taking odds that her baby will be named something like Twinkie or Vitamin or Dollarbill, and as a result will have a falling out with Tori similar to the one she’s currently experiencing with her own mother. Honestly, Tori named her bed and breakfast Chateau LaRue – after her pug. Her pug. Props to Tori, however, for capitalizing on her wee ounce of fame as much as possible: A reality show, oh-so-cleverly titled “Tori and Dean: Inn Love,” will chronicle her adventures on the Oxygen network.

PS: Since when does opening a bed and breakfast take you straight to the top in Hollywood?

– Nguyen is already at the top of Hollywood. E-mail her banguyen@umich.edu.

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