Next February when your English professor assigns you to read Shakespeare’s time-honored classic “Romeo and Juliet,” you’ll be able to tell them, “I don’t have to read it. I just saw the animated Disney musical version starring lawn gnomes.” And you will flunk the class. But the important thing is you will have seen a movie that, if its trailer is any indication, promises to increase our nation’s garden-creature-related nightmares by 1,000 percent.
“Gnomeo and Juliet”
Disney
See, there are these warring clans of gnomes living in the ridiculously ornate front lawns so common in 21st-century American suburbia. Gnomeo falls in love with Juliet, a girl from the enemy’s side of the picket fence. (Why she isn’t named Gnomeliet will likely remain a mystery for the ages.) Also, Elton John appears as a gnome — in only a slightly creepier state than his normal physical presence. Though the jury’s still out on whether “Gnomeo and Juliet” will retain the Bard’s signature double-suicide ending for this family-friendly outing, our money’s on: Definitely.