Today in Entertainment

The (in)famous first husband of pop, Kevin Federline, will guest-star in an episode of “CSI” tonight at 9 p.m. The episode centers on a series of tourist beatings that take place on the Las Vegas strip. Federline plays the bit part of Cole Tritt, an arrogant teenager (!) who harasses agents on the crime scene. The show has reportedly been struggling for its usual high ratings ever since ABC moved “Grey’s Anatomy” to the 9 p.m. Thursday slot as well. Let’s all bow our heads in prayer that no one allows old K-Fed to rap for the duration of the show, or else “CSI” might have to pull more ratings stunts like these in the future.

Music

What do a popular television cooking show host and a hip twee-pop band have in common? Absolutely nothing, which makes Food Network personality Rachel Ray’s inclusion of a song by The Boy Least Likely To on her children’s CD, Too Cool for School Mixtape for Kids, even stranger. Ray apparently has quite an affinity for The Boy’s stylings, and is a self-professed fan. Other artists to be included on Too Cool for School are Janis Joplin, Nellie McKay and Harry Nilsson. The album will be released on Oct. 31.

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Like The Pixies before them, The Raconteurs are offering a special kind of merchandise at their United Kingdom shows this season: instant bootlegs. That’s right: Now fans won’t have to smuggle all of that bulky recording equipment into the venue underneath their coats to get high-quality bootlegs! Unfortunately, the free bootlegs, while limited to a run of 1,000 per show, will lessen the demand for illegal copies anyway. Each double-disc CD will come with original artwork specific to the show at which it will be distributed. A KCRW version of the “Broken Boy Soldiers” single will also be included.

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The Chinese Ministry of Culture has banned Jay-Z from performing his debut show in the nation. The lyrics in many of the songs the self-proclaimed CEO of hip hop performs have been deemed too vulgar for audiences by the Chinese government. Apparently pimps, drugs, hos and violence are too much for his intended audience. Jay-Z, who is coming out of retirement on a comeback tour, hasn’t made any public statements about the ban and doesn’t seem too concerned. It’s not like he’s worth an estimated $320 million or anything.

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CBGB night club will close the doors of its historic New York location on Halloween after its final concert on Oct. 15. The club, which helped to make acts like the Ramones, Blondie, Patti Smith and the Talking Heads household names, has been a cultural fixture in Manhattan for more than thirty years. Hilly Kristal founded the club, whose full name is CBGB & OMFUG, which stands for Country, Bluegrass and Blues and Other Music for Uplifting Gormandizers, in 1973. After issues about back rent and lease lengths arose, Kristal attempted to procure historic landmark status for the club. When this failed, Kristal and the Bowery Resident’s Committee agreed that the club would stay open for 14 more months before it closed. Plans to open a new CBGB in Las Vegas are underway.

Web

If you’re sick of your significant other spending all of her time drafting her fantasy football leagues instead of hanging out with you, log onto www.fantasymoguls.com. Starting Oct. 27 the website will allow users to draft movies to be released during certain seasons and earn in-game dollars equivalent to the actual box-office earnings of the films in real life during their quest to become big-time Hollywood movie CEOs. The rules are as complex and the game play entertaining as those of fantasy sports. Best of all, its free. So get out there and make yourself a star.

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Internet giant MySpace.com decided to spearhead an awareness campaign genocide by creating Rock For Darfur, and organization that seeks to send a message about the crisis and a call to action to the world through music and activism. On Oct. 21, the group has organized a group of at least 20 musicians and acts that will play simultaneous concerts in venues across the country. Some of the shows slated to go on are TV on the Radio and Grizzly Bear at the Starlight Ballroom in Philadelphia and the Secret Machines at Soma in San Diego. Other bands involved are Switchfoot, Jamie Cullum, Ziggy Marley, Alice in Chains and +44, a band that includes 2/3 of Blink 182’s alums. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Sudanese crisis relief organizations and rehabilitation funds.

– Compiled by Caitlin Cowan