I have a terrible confession to make. I watch XFL football.
It all started when I was forced to watch it when hanging out with some guy friends. I”m used to having to watch “Jackass,” “Oz,” “The Sopranos” and excessive sporting events with them, so, of course, when the XFL was introduced, we just had to watch it.
And while my male friends appreciate the football on the field, they seem to appreciate the league”s cheerleaders even more.
I”ll refrain from a rant on the terrible objectification of these women, and instead just laugh at how easily the average male is entertained.
I remember watching another show with a large male following, Comedy Central”s “The Man Show” and seeing how enthralled my male friends were by the fact that a guy could bite into a beer can with his teeth and guzzle its contents while holding it in his teeth.
They were also equally amused by the many skimply-clad dancing females that they dare to call the Juggy Dance Squad. For people not familiar with these women, they”re the chicks who have a habit of jumping on trampolines.
Thus, all objectification and laughing aside, I”ll attempt to briefly remove my claws for the ultimate “Battle of the XFL Cheerleaders vs. The Man Show Juggy Squad.”
The XFL cheerleaders tend to have choreographed dances and stay more or less in sync with the rest of their squad, consisting of about 20 cheerleaders. The Juggies, as they”re affectionately known, are more of free-style dancing troupe. Although very disorganized, the Juggies have poles installed throughout their set which they sometimes swing on, giving them a boost.
XFL cheerleader uniforms are generally a two-piece concoction that barely cover the girls. Juggies have been seen wearing anything from milk and cookies to German fru-fru outfits. While the cheerleaders are consistently more scantily clad, the variety of the Juggy costumes makes the the superior choice.
This isn”t even a contest. In the first two XFL games I watched, it was hard to remember the cheerleaders” faces due to the excessive amount of cleavage displayed. As this seemed to be the main focus of the cameras, I think most other people had the same difficulty I had.
Advantage: XFL cheerleaders
This one was initially hard to judge because cleavage got in the way of seeing the entire XFL cheerleader. Based on the website pictures of each XFL team”s cheerleaders (some, are sans cleavage) they just don”t seem to look as good.
Each show has a special part of the show where either a cheerleader or a Juggy is introduced. The cheerleaders are introduced as an XFL cheerleader by night and some other profession by day. I never remember my kindergarten teacher looking like that.
“The Man Show” picks a Juggy of the Month who”s showcased on their website, and interviewed on the show. Juggies also distribute beer, participate in sketches and of course, bounce on trampolines.
And the winner is:
Cleavage aside, the XFL Cheerleaders really had nothing on the “The Man Show” Juggies. The choice is obvious.
Advantage: “The Man Show” Juggies
Lindsey Alpert can be reached at email@example.com