Holy shit they”ve got Mr. T., quick call Colonel “Hannibal” Smith! They took his bulky frame and injected it with the “Aryan Remedy” and then melted his gold chains and hardware down into gold bars to buy studio time.

Paul Wong
Chris Rock is kinda curious as to why producers only let him play a comedian and not anything else.<br><br>Courtesy of Paramount

There is no way we are gonna be able to save the innocent of the world this time. If Lieutenant Templeton would hurry up and get his head out of his ass we may be able to save Sergeant Bosco from the Aryan Remedy before he is completely turned into a European. Gone are his bulging African American muscles, and Mohawk. There is no way he could ever reprise his role as Clubber Lang as a lanky white Swede with an affection for bubblegum. Damn.

Captain Murdock is bringing the chopper, we are gonna have to go by air, I think Sergeant Bosco is being kept “Halfway Around the World,” and if we don”t get there soon, the effects are gonna be irreversible. Mr. T will never be able to bust out his “Slammin” Kinda Love,” if he is a Euro-pop icon.

“Captain! We are approaching Sweden, our sources indicate Sergeant Bosco is trapped inside a small recording studio with a bunch of sound engineers, they are all national treasures, so we can”t injure anyone.”

If we get the right “Sugar Rush” we”ll be able to slip inside their defenses like a “Firefly.” Once we infiltrate the base we will have only till the “Morning Light” to rescue Sergeant Bosco.

Unfortunately, this mission would fail, and Sergeant Bosco would be turned into Joey Fat-one. If you look closely you can see the resemblance. Bosco”s post-Aryan Remedy DNA was extracted and used to create the Aryan protoype, scientists overseas with their lenient drug laws have used that DNA to create the A*Teens. They are the immovable repose of pop music.

Grade: D

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