Standardized Pest

If you answered an emphatic “Yes” to any or all of these questions, then you”ve come to the right column. Forget about Kaplan. Wave good-bye to Princeton Review.

Send those private tutors packing. The MAK Practice Test is the standardized solution you seek. Providing a mixed-medley of multiple-choice models, you”ll be able to taste-test all types of test questions.

The MAK Practice Test is easy to do, so you are guaranteed to succeed.

SAMPLE PRACTICE QUESTIONS

Answer the following questions to the best of your ability by filling in the itty-bitty bubbles.

ANALOGY: Using your best Dr. Phil-on-Oprah-antics analyze the following relationships.

The kitchen is to Meredith as

mNever Never Land is to adults.

m The Law Library is to a football

player.

mThe Temple of Doom is to

Indiana Jones.

mLollapalooza is to a

quadragenarian.

LOGIC GAMES: Choose the BEST answer. (Not the one that kind of seems OK.)

Meredith bought seven new pairs of shoes: JP Tods, Kate Spade, L.A. Gear, Manolo Blahniks, Nike, Orthopedic shoes and Prada. She only has three shoe shelves available for use. The shoe shelving arrangement must meet the following conditions:

– No more than three designer shoes can be situated on the same shelf.

– JP Tods must be two pairs of shoes away from the Nikes.

– L.A. Gears and Orthopedic shoes must be as far as humanly possible from the Pradas.

– Only six pairs of shoes can be shelved at once.

How should Meredith work-out her walk-in?

mCall California Closets for their

organizational expertise.

mHide the Orthopedic shoes in a

drawer.

mBuy a shoe tree.

mSave space and save face

return the LA Gears.

PHYSICAL SCIENCE: Answer the following question to the best of your ability, and understand why some people become communication majors.

A frizz-fighting concoction is prepared containing three drops of Frizz-Ease and two drops of Aveda Emollient. When applied evenly to wavy hair, the potential for silky-smooth tresses increases at a rate of 83 percent. By what percentage will the rate differ if the concoction is applied in the rain to Meredith”s unruly mane?

m0.0004%

m15%

mBased on Friday”s hair fiasco

a lot.

mHuh?

PROBLEM SOLVING: Recalling a previously discussed “problem,” answer the following mathematical equation.

Thanks to midterm preparations, Meredith contains approximately 5,874 mg of caffeine. For every 800 mg in her system, she loses 3/4 hour of sleep. How many bottles of Evian will it take to dilute her system in order to ensure that Meredith completes 3 REM cycles of sleep this evening?

m4.

m17.

mNear Pacific Ocean-proportions

seem accurate.

mNone of the above. Keller needs

to cork that whine of hers concern-

ing caffeine overdoses it”s starting

to get old.

SENTENCE CORRECTION: Clarify and Kellerify the following sentence.

Two weeks ago, Meredith the columnist, who often complains about being dateless, and capitalizes on her pseudo-fame to run blind date schemes through the Daily, met a real boy, not imaginary or inflatable, for a cup of coffee.

mMeredith the columnist, often

complains.

mA little while back, Meredith

met a boy for coffee.

mA couple of weeks ago, hell

apparently froze over a male

talked to Meredith.

mTwo Tuesdays ago, after

twilight, the cute and clever

“Keller Instincts” columnist chat-

ted and chortled over lukewarm

lattes with a strapping young stud

from Seattle.

READING COMPREHENSIONS: Based on your translation of the text, answer the following question.

In the above column, what point was Meredith trying to convey?

mStandardized testing is an

unpleasant rite of passage that all

pre-professionals must endure.

mMeredith has way too much time

on her hands to create such

cockamamie columns.

mThe author”s passage is more

like a Cosmo quiz gone wrong that

should be called the “What the

Hell was ThatSAT.”

mAlthough it is somewhat

amusing, Keller Instincts is a

pointless publication.

STOP!

Meredith Keller can be reached at makeller@umich.edu