Courtney Cox wishes she could backstab some ratings like this. Yes, Survivor is the No. 1 show in America, just as it accomplished during its original run this past summer. And this time, it”s taken on NBC”s hit comedy Friends, and won valiantly.

Paul Wong
Survivor Sleuth<br><br>Mark Francescutti

In last week”s third episode, ravenously hungry viewers learned that ravenously hungry castaways can and do get mighty cranky. Keith, the world famous chef that can barely cook crappy boiled rice, told tough-guy Colby he wanted to vote for “My-giant” Mitchell instead of Maralyn (Mad Dog). Colby, like Texas did to Mexico, backstabbed Keith by bringing the news to Mitchell. Colby and Mitchell seem safe in the Ogakor five” alliance with Amber, Tina and Jerri.

Speaking of Jerri, it seems she “got to know” Colby a little better, but since Survivor is on at 8 p.m., viewers won”t see anything too exciting. Too bad “sex island” wasn”t on this week.

And why is Jerri dubbed “the black widow” by Survivor producer Mark Burnett? Well, remember that after a black widow mates, it eats its lover. Watch out Colby!

Still the person who should be cooking up some way to stay on the island is Keith, who is the lone member without an alliance. The cocky cook, like an idiot, taught his tribemembers how to fry fish. Great Keith, the only skill you pretended to have, and now everyone knows it. If Ogakor loses tribal council, Keith better promise some gourmet souffl, or he”ll be burnt toast.

Meanwhile, over at Kucha, Elizabeth said she “will never write (Rodger”s) name on a sheet of paper.” But if the old man falls 10 more times like he did in the immunity challenge rope race, Liz may have to rethink her strategy. But thankfully for Rodger, Maralyn fell down about 20 times (but notice how they only showed Rodger falling in the previews) and Ogakor had to go to tribal council. Alicia and jeff also joined forces and set their cannibalizing eyes on Martha Stewart kitchen fan Nick.

The tribe has spoken: Mad Dog had the opportunity to be the star of Survivor II, but evil queen Jerri and her nasty, boring alliance, decided that old people suck. So off Maralyn went by a five-to-two margin. What a waste!

Worst moment: Tina backstabbing Maralyn after forming an alliance with her. The frown face doesn”t rationalize your witchiness. Quit acting like Jerri.

Tonight”s episode: Due to concerns about upsetting younger viewers in the 8 p.m. timeslot, CBS will trim the footage of Kucha”s Michael killing a pig and smearing its blood on his face. Sounds like Kucha is going to get some good meat. Too bad for vegetarian Kimmi.

A fire will threaten one of the tribes” camps, and rumor has it that Michael came home from Australia with damaged hands. Could this be from the fire? Too bad it can”t really prove whether Michael will get booted or not. But it may provide some “Lord of the Flies” flashbacks.

According to CBS, Ogakor will have trouble catching fish, while Kucha will have two women fighting over food. Uh oh! Catfight!

Prediction time: ( 0-1 last week, 2-1 overall record) Last week, the unthinkable happened: my prediction was wrong! I cautiously chose the annoying “masturbation trash-talking” Kimmi from Kucha. But I was way off, because Kucha won immunity and Ogakor “let the dogs out” by voting off Maralyn.

But never fear, I may get a 2.0 in school, but I get a 4.0 in Survivor rumors.

Bad news for Rodger: According to survivorsucks.com, Rodger has been sighted in New York City. But Rodger is from Kentucky, and a good reason why he might be in New York is to maybe go on CBS” Early Show on Friday (where the latest castaway appears). Also, Rodger is an extreme liability in challenges, as seen last week. But at the same time, a Cincinnatti paper says Rodger lost a lot of weight on the show. Could he lose 20 pounds or so in 12 days?

Also, the LA Times reported that when the tribes merge, males will have an advantage (say six men to four women). With three episodes until the merger, that means that two women and only one male get the boot.

If Ogakor goes to tribal council, say bye bye to Keith. If Kucha has to vote off a member, it will be Rodger. But since I have no clue who will win immunity, I”ll take the guess. Keith helps his team win immunity by creating a new Australian delicacy spider a la mode while Rodger is kicked off for being old, then sues CBS for age discrimination.

It”s the only likely thing to happen.

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