The Michigan Daily: Hi, is George there?

Random: Yeah. This is him.

TMD: Hey, my name is Graham and I’m from The Michigan Daily. I’m doing the Random Student Interview, would you be willing to help me out?

R: Yeah sure.

TMD: How was your spring break?

R: Not too bad. Pretty uneventful.

TMD: Do you know anyone who took part in any wet T-shirt contests?

R: No.

TMD: Say we were British, thus speaking like the Brits do, and I asked you if you pulled over Spring Break. What do you think that would mean?

R: Maybe it means, if I traveled out of the country.

TMD: It actually means to get some ass. So, did you pull over break?

R: No.

TMD: What does the term sex kitten really mean?

R: I don’t know, maybe it’s a term for a woman’s vagina?

TMD: I was thinking it meant a really frisky girl.

R: That would be a valid way to think of it.

TMD: But I don’t really know, but for the purpose of this interview, let’s pretend that it means a horny, frisky girl. Have you ever dated a sex kitten?

R: No, but that would be cool.

TMD: What is the sexiest kitten, in your opinion? Now we are talking cats.

R: Dude, I don’t know. Like a feline, the animal? Just make up something and say I said it.

TMD: Is it uncomfortable to watch videos of animals having sex in class?

R: I would say so, yeah.

TMD: I just watched such a video in class. Crazy that that’s educational, isn’t it?

R: That’s pretty strange. Just watching animals have sex seems pretty fucked up.

TMD: But it’s educational.

R: I guess you can get some knowledge out of it, but it should be optional.

TMD: So I’ve been watching a lot of dating shows on television because I find them hilariously entertaining. Would you ever take part on a dating-game show?

R: Not really. The whole “Joe Millionaire” thing and “The Bachelorette” don’t interest me.

TMD: I think you’re watching the high brow stuff. I’m talking about the half-hour shows on WGN.

R: I’ve never really seen that stuff.

TMD: Now at the beginning, the contestants always introduce themselves and give a little spiel about who they are. What would your two minute introduction be?

R: I’m looking for a sex kitten, with a good sense of humor. Glasses wouldn’t be bad.

TMD: Glasses?

R: I have a thing for women with glasses.

TMD: What does it say about our society that FOX is even doing this “Married In America” show, where people can call in and tell two people to get married?

R: I think it kind of sucks. People don’t take marriage seriously anymore. That kind of sucks, and divorce rates are extremely high, which isn’t cool.

TMD: Does it mean that we are really poor at finding the right partner? Or is this progress, that we now have ways of finding the right person for us?

R: I don’t think it’s necessarily progress.The good old fashioned style of eventually meeting someone seems to be a good way. I think it just sells.

TMD: Is it a fantasy for you to someday hook up with someone from your high school, like at a five year reunion or something?

R: Not really.

TMD: Really? No women left unconquered back at high school? You really went through them all?

R: Well, possibly one.

TMD: What’s the girl’s name?

R: Uh, no one in particular.

TMD: If the university offered degrees like rock star and porn star, would you double major to become a rock star/porn star?

R: Not at all. Porn star thing would have been really cool back in ninth grade. But I don’t think I’d enjoy it anymore.

TMD: But what about rock star?

R: Rock star has its perks. But I don’t think it’s something you can major in. You can’t learn that stuff.

TMD: If I made a shirt that was totally plain except it had “Two girls short of a m

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *