As a friend pointed out, when VH-1 does its list of the 100 worst VH-1 list shows in a couple of years, their latest, “The 200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons” will undoubtedly nab the top spot.
Until this point, I’ve been very forgiving with VH-1. I’ll admit that I was there start to finish for “The 100 Greatest Artists” and “The 100 Greatest Albums,” and I was willing to overlook “The 100 Greatest Songs” and “The 100 Greatest Women of Rock and Roll.” Around the time of the overlapping lists “The 100 Greatest Shocking Moments in Rock and Roll” and “The 100 Greatest Moments That Rocked TV” I started to wonder what had happened to the network that brought us “Behind the Music.” But it didn’t end there. “The 100 Sexiest Artists,” “The 50 Sexiest Video Moments” and “The 100 Greatest One Hit Wonders” dropped soon after, leaving me confused and saddened.
But it wasn’t until this month’s “200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons” that I finally gave up hope that VH-1 was still good for something. While on the surface it may not appear as inane as some of the other lists, it is by far the craziest the network has been with its ranking obsession.
With such an open-ended topic, you’d think there’d be room at the top for people like Jesus, but where was J.C.? Nowhere to be found. Overlooked to make room for Oprah and Superman, respectively numbers one and two. And all Jesus did was write the most popular book in history and establish a following of a billion people worldwide. And Jesus didn’t even need a wildly popular talk show or superhuman strength to make a name for himself.
Sure, it’s probably just as silly to complain about the choices as it was to make the list in the first place, but Oprah and Superman? As nice as they are, I’m sure Johnny Carson and Batman would have a few things to say about that.
It’s not that I don’t think things like pop culture icons and sexy video moments should be discussed — in fact a significant amount of my life has been dedicated to discussing both — it’s just inherently ludicrous to think that these things can be ranked in one official, god-given list.
And so, in an effort to improve VH-1 programming, I would like to offer a list of suggestions for future list shows. This is my list, and it goes like this:
1.) The 100 Greatest Pop Culture Icons Who Don’t Belong on Our 200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons List
2.) The 50 Greatest Celebrity Pets
3.) The 100 Greatest Talentless Hip-Hop Posses and lackeys
4.) The 200 Greatest Comments Given by Talking Heads During VH-1 List Shows
5.) The 100 Greatest Times that VH-1 Aired the Motley Crue “Behind the Music.”