Perusing the pages of Nylon Magazine, the
“indie” Vogue, I stumbled upon “Tracking a
Trend,” an article about the sweatsuit’s rise up the
fashion ladder. Immediately, I felt my heart sink. Am I the only
person left in the world still desperately clinging to the notion
of Hollywood glamor? Who feels a sense of nostalgia for the days of
Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly?

Janna Hutz

Not that I expect stars to dress in chic black dresses and long
white gloves all the time. The casual look has the capacity to
exude glamour as well — Gwyneth Paltrow looks simply elegant
in bootcut jeans and a fitted, button-down shirt, while Mick Jagger
in the ’60s personified glam with his tight, striped pants
and tiny T-shirts. But no one — no one — looks
glamorous or cutting-edge in a sweatsuit. It is one trend
celebrities have embraced that I absolutely cannot forgive.

Why the aversion to sweatsuits? Well, it’s not so much an
aversion; I admire people who go out in public with track pants and
no makeup. My life would be a lot easier, or at least I would be on
time for class, if I didn’t blow dry my hair or change my
outfit several times in the morning.

I just have a problem with people who straighten their hair with
an iron, paint their faces with an array of colors, and take the
time to put on matching jewelry (oh, and lets not forget the
obligatory designer bag), only to put on sweat pants! I mean, why
bother?

I blame J-Lo. Sure, hip-hop and rap celebrities were sporting
tracksuits long before J-Lo, but she made the look
“glamorous.” Wearing them to flaunt her shapely figure,
she’s inspired rich, snooty high schoolers and East Hampton
mothers to consume as many different colors of Juicy Couture
outfits as possible. I also hold her indirectly responsible (on
account of all the attention her derrière attracts) for
those atrocious sweat pants with the Greek letters on the butt that
litter our campus.

J-Lo is a celebrity, and let’s face it, celebrities are
paid to look extraordinary at all times. Why else would People come
out with an annual “best-dressed” list? Do people
really watch the Oscars to find out who wins best actress? People
do not want to emulate celebrities’ styles as much as they
want to admire them. I buy Vogue because I want to look at
beautiful, interesting clothes that I will never own, not so I can
see J-Lo in an all-pink velour sweatsuit.

Speaking of pink, one should never wear one color from head to
toe. Black can slide for formal occasions, but pink? Never. Also, I
thought velour was cool when we were in middle school, but it
disappeared from the fashion world for a very good reason. I even
remember a fashion magazine explicitly cautioning me to stay away
from velour — it’s unflattering and clings to all the
wrong places and just looks tacky. What happened?

I also looked up how much a standard, plain velour Juicy outfit
costs on the Internet. $209. $209 just to be comfortable? And to
look like a big pink blob? I don’t think so.

Maybe J-Lo is onto something with her “glamour for the
masses” ideology — that we don’t need award shows
and movie premieres to look like a star. Hell, we can go to the
supermarket looking like one. Maybe she’s the visionary for
some huge fashion revolution, and in ten years I will reflect back
on her and her pink velour outfits with fondness. But for the time
being, as long as I never see Gwyneth Paltrow in a Juicy outfit, I
will keep clinging onto my romantic notions of what Hollywood style
should be.

 

— Raquel does look good in pink. Contact her at
href=”mailto:rlaneri@umich.edu”>rlaneri@umich.edu.

 

 

 

 

 

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