The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Evan there?

Random: This is him.

TMD: Hi, I’m a writer from The Michigan Daily.

You’ve been chosen to take part in this week’s Random Student Interview. Are you up for it?

R: Sure.

TMD: How do you feel about jazz music?

R: Uh, I think it’s fantastic.

TMD: What type of jazz do you like?

R: Um, stuff that’s heavy emphasis on the saxophone.

TMD: Are you the type of person to bop your head to the music, or do you sit still?

R: Um, I guess it depends.

TMD: On what?

R: I don’t know, what kind of mood I’m in, I guess.

TMD: What are your five favorite ingredients in soup?

R: Noodles, carrots, chicken, crackers. Are crackers an ingredient?

TMD: It’s your soup, it is now.

R: Okay, crackers and onions.

TMD: Do you feel that clam chowder is an underrated soup, or does it receive all the respect it deserves?

R: New England clam chowder lives up to the claims, but that Manhattan stuff is nasty.

TMD: Have you ever eaten seaweed?

R: Not that I’m aware of.

TMD: Wasn’t it strange that Popeye, looking back on it, was a cartoon set up almost for the sole purpose of getting kids to eat spinach?

R: I know. And then they’re all let down.

TMD: Why’s that?

R: Because it didn’t make them big and strong.

TMD: I see. Aren’t you surprised that the seaweed lobbyists didn’t fight back and try to get something?

I mean, of the semi-disgusting greens, it seems like seaweed should have had equal chances of landing a mascot.

R: I know but, who would they get to represent them I guess.

TMD: Do you like brussel sprouts?

R: No.

TMD: Along the same lines, what famous person would you like to sleep with?

R: Jennifer Lopez.

TMD: Okay, while we’re letting you daydream, why don’t you throw another person into the mix?

R: Denise Richards.

TMD: Do you feel cranky, a) often, b) all the time, c) once in a great while, or d) usually on Mondays?

R: Usually on Mondays.

TMD: Have you been watching “Joe Millionaire?”

R: No.

TMD: That’s a travesty. What is your favorite Sunday activity?

R: Sex.

TMD: How’s that working out for you?

R: Pretty good.

TMD: What’s the worst pick-up line you can think of?

R: I hope you like Frosted Flakes in the morning, because I’m all out of Cheerios.

TMD: Has it ever been used on you?

R: Never.

TMD: How big of a Springsteen fan are you?

R: Not too big.

TMD: Do you ever refer to him as the Boss?

R: Never.

TMD: Was Leonardo DiCaprio’s best work on “Growing Pains?”

R: Absolutely. He should have disappeared after that.

TMD: What time do you usually wake up in the morning?

R: Seven thirty.

TMD: Do you eat breakfast, or read the paper?

R: Read the paper, if I have time, but I don’t eat breakfast.

TMD: What’s your breakfast of choice, if you do eat it?

R: Hash browns.

TMD: Have you ever read Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions?”

R: Yes I have.

TMD: Isn’t it crazy that cereal, waffles, pancakes and omelets are never mentioned.

R: Yeah, that was weird.

TMD: What’s your favorite type of syrup?

R: Standard maple.

TMD: Have you ever used it for sexual exploits?

R: I’m working on it, but not as of yet.

TMD: So it’s a goal toward which you’re striving, then?

R: Yes.

TMD: Best of luck. Do you have any piercings?

R: None.

TMD: Any plans to get any?

R: Nope.

TMD: At a concert do you ever scream out songs you want the band to play?

R: Yeah.

TMD: Do you have a nickname?

R: I’ve been called Bush.

TMD: Care to explain?

R: I kind of have a little fro thing going.

TMD: Do people ever surprise you by their ignorance?

R: Yes, on a daily basis.

TMD: Do you have a specific example?

R: Not off the top of my head.

TMD: Do you drink the milk if there is any left over after you’ve eaten all the cereal?

R: Yes.

TMD: What’s the best cereal for slurping excess milk?

R: Whatever has the most sugar.

TMD: Personally I like Cocoa Krispies. Okay, we’re almost done.

TMD: Do you prefer the expression “making whoopee” or “doing the horizontal bop”?

R: Is “bumping uglies” an option?

TMD: No actually not. But today I’m going to let that slide for you. Nature or Nurture?

R: Nurture.

TMD: All right. Thanks a lot. You can look for this in Thursday’s paper if you’re so inclined.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *