The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Evan there?
Random: This is him.
TMD: Hi, I’m a writer from The Michigan Daily.
You’ve been chosen to take part in this week’s Random Student Interview. Are you up for it?
TMD: How do you feel about jazz music?
R: Uh, I think it’s fantastic.
TMD: What type of jazz do you like?
R: Um, stuff that’s heavy emphasis on the saxophone.
TMD: Are you the type of person to bop your head to the music, or do you sit still?
R: Um, I guess it depends.
TMD: On what?
R: I don’t know, what kind of mood I’m in, I guess.
TMD: What are your five favorite ingredients in soup?
R: Noodles, carrots, chicken, crackers. Are crackers an ingredient?
TMD: It’s your soup, it is now.
R: Okay, crackers and onions.
TMD: Do you feel that clam chowder is an underrated soup, or does it receive all the respect it deserves?
R: New England clam chowder lives up to the claims, but that Manhattan stuff is nasty.
TMD: Have you ever eaten seaweed?
R: Not that I’m aware of.
TMD: Wasn’t it strange that Popeye, looking back on it, was a cartoon set up almost for the sole purpose of getting kids to eat spinach?
R: I know. And then they’re all let down.
TMD: Why’s that?
R: Because it didn’t make them big and strong.
TMD: I see. Aren’t you surprised that the seaweed lobbyists didn’t fight back and try to get something?
I mean, of the semi-disgusting greens, it seems like seaweed should have had equal chances of landing a mascot.
R: I know but, who would they get to represent them I guess.
TMD: Do you like brussel sprouts?
TMD: Along the same lines, what famous person would you like to sleep with?
R: Jennifer Lopez.
TMD: Okay, while we’re letting you daydream, why don’t you throw another person into the mix?
R: Denise Richards.
TMD: Do you feel cranky, a) often, b) all the time, c) once in a great while, or d) usually on Mondays?
R: Usually on Mondays.
TMD: Have you been watching “Joe Millionaire?”
TMD: That’s a travesty. What is your favorite Sunday activity?
TMD: How’s that working out for you?
R: Pretty good.
TMD: What’s the worst pick-up line you can think of?
R: I hope you like Frosted Flakes in the morning, because I’m all out of Cheerios.
TMD: Has it ever been used on you?
TMD: How big of a Springsteen fan are you?
R: Not too big.
TMD: Do you ever refer to him as the Boss?
TMD: Was Leonardo DiCaprio’s best work on “Growing Pains?”
R: Absolutely. He should have disappeared after that.
TMD: What time do you usually wake up in the morning?
R: Seven thirty.
TMD: Do you eat breakfast, or read the paper?
R: Read the paper, if I have time, but I don’t eat breakfast.
TMD: What’s your breakfast of choice, if you do eat it?
R: Hash browns.
TMD: Have you ever read Kurt Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions?”
R: Yes I have.
TMD: Isn’t it crazy that cereal, waffles, pancakes and omelets are never mentioned.
R: Yeah, that was weird.
TMD: What’s your favorite type of syrup?
R: Standard maple.
TMD: Have you ever used it for sexual exploits?
R: I’m working on it, but not as of yet.
TMD: So it’s a goal toward which you’re striving, then?
TMD: Best of luck. Do you have any piercings?
TMD: Any plans to get any?
TMD: At a concert do you ever scream out songs you want the band to play?
TMD: Do you have a nickname?
R: I’ve been called Bush.
TMD: Care to explain?
R: I kind of have a little fro thing going.
TMD: Do people ever surprise you by their ignorance?
R: Yes, on a daily basis.
TMD: Do you have a specific example?
R: Not off the top of my head.
TMD: Do you drink the milk if there is any left over after you’ve eaten all the cereal?
TMD: What’s the best cereal for slurping excess milk?
R: Whatever has the most sugar.
TMD: Personally I like Cocoa Krispies. Okay, we’re almost done.
TMD: Do you prefer the expression “making whoopee” or “doing the horizontal bop”?
R: Is “bumping uglies” an option?
TMD: No actually not. But today I’m going to let that slide for you. Nature or Nurture?
TMD: All right. Thanks a lot. You can look for this in Thursday’s paper if you’re so inclined.