The Michigan Daily: Hey, this is the Michigan Daily. Do
you want to do the random student interview?

Random: Sure.

TMD: So the Markley flu, what’s the deal with
that?

R: I think it’s kind of ridiculous that everyone is
freaking out about it so much, it’s just the flu.

TMD: Why is it spreading so fast?

R: Because people are sharing things …

TMD: Have you heard the Paris Hilton theory?

R: No, I haven’t

TMD: Well, some people say Paris is just being a
trash-bag and spreading it all around.

R: She’s being the trash bag spreading it
around?

TMD: Yeah.

R: No, I haven’t.

TMD: Who’s more trashy: Paris Hilton or Courtney
Love?

R: Courtney Love.

TMD: Why’s that?

R: Just look at her!

TMD: Have you been served in recent weeks?

R: Served?

TMD: Like “You Got Served,” have you been
served?

R: No.

TMD: Who’s going to be in Playboy first? Pink or
Carol Moseley Braun?

R: Pink.

TMD: Who’s more attractive, your dad or Dennis
Kucinich?

R: My dad.

TMD: Good call. What’s the weirdest thing
you’ve ever gotten for Valentine’s Day?

R: Me? I’ve never gotten anything

TMD: Awww. Would you ever give a nerdy guy a chance for
Valentine’s day?

R: Yeah … If he was nice.

TMD: If he asked a lot of questions?

R: A lot of questions?

TMD: Yeah, you don’t really know him, he sits
behind you in class. Would you ever give that guy a chance?

R: I guess … to be honest, probably not.
It’d be weird.

TMD: Cause he’d be stalking you?

R: Absolutely.

TMD: So what about the John Mayer fan club? You want
in?

R: I like John Mayer; I’d join it.

TMD: Cool. Me too. What’s the worst band alive?

R: Ummmmm … Fountains of Wayne

TMD: Who sucked the most at the Grammy’s?

R: I didn’t think anyone was bad.

TMD: What about George Clinton? He looked pretty cracked
out.

R: Oh, Christina Aguilera … she was bad. I really
didn’t like her.

TMD: Do you think she could be spreading the Markley
virus?

R: Actually, she probably could be.

TMD: So if we are going to have a triple threat slut
match between Christina, Courtney Love and Paris Hilton.

R: I’d still have to say Courtney Love.

TMD: Wow, that’s the mark of a champion.
What’s the most erotic cereal served in the dining halls?

R: Erotic?

TMD: You heard me.

R: I gotta think of what they have … maybe Lucky
Charms.

TMD: Do you just think Irish people are really
attractive?

R: I haven’t really thought of that. They are
attractive but I mean the cereal … it’s got all that
sweet stuff and flavors.

TMD: What’s the more romantic Valentine’s Day
song — “Back That Ass Up” or “My
Pony?”

R: “Back That Ass Up,” I guess

TMD: Who’s your favorite band?

R: I don’t know, maybe the Beatles

TMD: How about that Yoko Ono; she’s a buzzkill.

R: Kinda, but at the Grammy’s she was so
touching.

TMD: Alrighty then, well thanks a lot. Make sure to get
served pretty soon.

R: Bye.

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