Random: Hello?

The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Anne there?

R: Yeah, one second.

TMD: OK, I’ll wait.

R: Hello?

The Michigan Daily: Anne this Michael from the Michigan Daily, and you’ve been selected for the Random Student Interview. You interested?

R: What is it an interview about?

TMD: Very random stuff. But you can’t hang up on me halfway through like the previous two people.

R: Is it scandalous?

TMD: No. Who was that guy who answered the phone?

R: He’s the guy who lives across the hall from me. He answers my phone because I usually scan my calls because there’s people trying to sell me things.

TMD: Like what?

R: Credit cards?

TMD: How many have you bought?

R: Zero.

TMD: Did you hear about the grilled cheese sandwich with the one bite missing that looked like the Virgin Mary and sold on eBay?

R: No.

TMD: Would you have paid anything for it?

R: No. It’s a piece of grilled cheese.

TMD: What if I told you it was all Muenster? Would that do anything for you?

R: I don’t like Muenster.

TMD: Co-jack?

R: If it were Swiss I would buy it.

TMD: Do you think the Virgin Mary would like her likeness being sold on eBay?

R: Probably not because she would probably think it was demeaning to her.

TMD: Do you think she would have felt better if it was sold at a more prestigious auction house like Sotheby’s or Christie’s?

R: Um … No.

TMD: Did you also hear that the same people bought a cane of a dead grandpa for $65,000?

R: A cane?

TMD: Yeah. he died though.

R: No, I didn’t hear about that.

TMD: Would you ever put something from a deceased relative on eBay?

R: No.

TMD: What if they had some real expensive clothes that you could get a lot of money for?

R: Then I wouldn’t probably auction it off.

TMD: Have you ever put anything up on eBay?

R: Um … no.

TMD: You like to say no a lot. Have you ever had food that looked like something?

R: No, but I did eat what I thought was vanilla pudding yesterday and it was chicken gravy.

TMD: Ew. My mom Barb once made some pudding that looked like Kevin Pollack.

R: That’s really funny.

TMD: Are you making fun of Kevin Pollack?

R: No, I don’t even know who that is.

TMD: If you were a clothing store, who would you rather have as a spokesperson: Alf or Linus from Peanuts?

R: Oh, Linus for sure.

TMD: Do you think the blanket and the thumb sucking would be bad for the store?

R: No. He’s cute as hell.

TMD: I don’t know if you can use hell in The Michigan Daily. Speaking of clothes, what do you think of people who put sweaters on their dogs?

R: Unless you are in, like, Siberia, that requires a sweater on your dog, it’s kind of absurd.

TMD: Have you ever been to Siberia?

R: No.

TMD: Then how do you know?

R: I know that it’s really cold there, and I’m assuming that if a dog lived there it would need some sort of protective garment.

TMD: Touch

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