Roommate of Random: Hello?

The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Haley there?

RORS: Yeah, one sec.

Random: Hello?

TMD: Hey, Haley. This is The Michigan Daily. You’ve been selected for our random student interview. Would you like to participate?

R: Sure, but you keep fading in and out though.

TMD: It’s a speaker phone. I’ll try to be loud. Let me know if you don’t hear the questions.

R: OK.

TMD: So, what’d you have for dinner tonight?

R: Lasagna and salad.

TMD: How’s that dorm lasagna?

R: It was good.

TMD: I’ll take your word on that. So, do you have a new roommate this year?

R: Yeah.

TMD: How’s that working out? Did you know her coming in?

R: It’s going really well, but I didn’t know her.

TMD: You went in blind? Dangerous.

R: Well, I’m from Utah and I didn’t know anyone else.

TMD: Ohhhh, Utah. Where abouts?

R: Park City.

TMD: Lot of skiing there. Do you ski or snowboard?

R: No, I’m figure skater.

TMD: Oh yeah? Then what’s a triple lutz?

R: It’s a kinda jump with three revolutions and you have to land backwards.

TMD: Oh, man, I better stick with the salcow. Who is your favorite figure skater?

R: Michelle Kwan. I think she’s the best of all time even though she never won an Olympics.

TMD: Why did she never win?

R: I think she chokes.

TMD: OK, you have to have a major organ removed? What’s it gonna be?

R: Ummm … my … my spleen.

TMD: Oh my god. That is the correct answer. You can definitely live without the spleen. If you could be anyone of the Disney Princesses, who would you be?

R: Cinderella.

TMD: Why Cinderella?

R: She gets Prince Charming.

TMD: Good point. Everybody else got a knockoff; she got the real Prince Charming. Hey, do you remember when McDonald’s had the Shamrock Shakes?

R: Um, no.

TMD: They were like these green colored milk shakes that would come out right around St. Patrick’s Day. Do you think Mickey D’s got rid of them because they hate Irish people?

R: Yeah, that’s probably it.

TMD: What’s your pick for ugliest building on campus?

R: The LSA Building with that ugly pink paint job.

TMD: Good choice. I’m obligated by law to ask this next one. Ben and Jennifer: Who broke up with who?

R: Jennifer Lopez broke up with Ben.

TMD: Really? The trade papers are saying it went the other way around. Why do you think J-Lo was the one who ended it?

R: She broke up with all those other guys. Puffy and that Chris guy, the dancer.

TMD: Chris Judd? Is he related to the other Judds? Winona and Ashley?

R: That would be funny if he was.

TMD: We’ll look into that. So, in your mind Ben equals deadweight. Who is Jennifer gonna go for next?

R: Justin Timberlake.

TMD: She’s going to steal him away from Cameron Diaz? That’s a cat fight I would pay to see.

What’s your pack animal of choice? You have to cross the desert and you only get one to carry all your stuff.

R: A camel.

TMD: One hump or two?

R: Two.

TMD: You’re from Utah, so I’ll skip the obvious joke. That would be in poor taste. Can you tell me about one of your dreams?

R: One that I have when I’m sleeping or like a goal?

TMD: A sleeping one.

R: I can’t think of one.

TMD: Make one up, no one will know the difference.

R: OK, well, this is a real one. I have this dream that I’m going to class and my teacher is really mad at me. And she makes me write, like, 500 words on the blackboard. And I don’t know what they are.

TMD: Just like random words?

R: Yeah.

TMD: You know why you didn’t know what words they were? Because when you’re sleeping, you dream with the left side of your brain and the right side of your brain is the one that processes words and speech.

R: Oh.

TMD: I made that up. What are you majoring in Haley?

R: I’m thinking about education.

TMD: Secondary or primary?

R: Primary. Kindergarten hopefully.

TMD: You want the really little kids huh? I’ll tell you this: some kid’s gonna pee on himself. How are you going to deal with that?

R: I don’t know … send them to the office?

TMD: Haley, you are the first line of defense, you got to know what to do with that urine-soaked kid!

R: (laughing) I don’t know.

TMD: I’m worried about you. You might want to rethink this career thing. So, what classes are you taking this semester?

R: Spanish …

TMD: Which one?

R: 232.

TMD: Oh, good. So, you can translate this for me: Yo necesito el vestido por mi mono.

R: (laughing) I have no idea.

TMD: It means ‘I need the dress for my monkey.’ Let’s try having a conversation and we’ll put it in the paper with no translation.

R: Um, OK.

TMD: (clears throat) Hola Haley!

R: Hola!

TMD: Umm … me gusta nachos.

R: Muy bien, me gusta nachos tambien.

TMD: Si … that’s all I remember. Hey, what were you dong when I called?

R: I was working on an English paper. I have to define a word.

TMD: What’s the word?

R: Love.

TMD: Mmm, what are you redefining it as?

R: I’m not really sure.

TMD: You might be in trouble. Which brings me to the next question. What team do you think is going to win the World Series?

R: I don’t watch baseball; I’m a football girl.

TMD: Oh. Did you go to the Notre Dame game last week?

R: Yeah, I did. It was great.

TMD: In the stadium, when everyone was chanting, “Fuck the Irish,” did you chant that too?

R: I did.

TMD: Okay, well, I’m not going to print that. Your Mom back in Utah will be mad if she hears you swore.

R: It’s OK. She won’t read the paper.

TMD: Gee, thanks. We’re on the Internet you know, lots of people read online.

R: Sorry.

TMD: Before we go, I need a prediction for the game against Oregon.

R: Michigan 20, Oregon 7.

TMD: Haley, thanks very much. Check out the Weekend Magazine this Thursday for the interview.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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