Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where we laud your accomplishments to the point of self-deprecation.

Illustrations by Jeff Zuschlag

Hey! How’s your first day back at school going?

It’s good. I’m done for the day.

Wow. Isn’t it, like, noon? That’s awesome.

Actually, it’s one o’clock, but yes.

Oh really? Already? Time flies when you’re sleep deprived. I woke up this morning and seriously considered dropping my first class, especially after the girl next to me kept yawning morning breath all over me.

Oh, no!

I had to zone out and go to my happy place. Is your schedule pretty set?

It is. I got all my classes, no waitlists. And I’m actually not taking that many credits this semester.

So you don’t actually hate yourself for taking early classes?

No. I love waking up early, and then getting everything over with so I have the afternoon.

So what are you going to do with your free afternoon?

I’m going to go home. I have some stuff to clean up and work that I have to do for classes on Friday.

Wow. You’re making me look bad. You’re going to go be productive the rest of the day? I’d just go to the Union, get a pretzel and nap …

(Laughs)

So did you break any New Year’s resolutions already?

Um … no. I never, ever do New Year’s resolutions. I don’t want to. I’ve never done it.

I made a resolution not to make a resolution and I’ve messed that up already.

(Laughs)

What are you looking forward to most in 2012? A.k.a. “the beginning of the end.”

Well, this is just a big year in general for grades and everything – applying to grad schools and then medical school. So I just have to make sure I’m really focused and study a lot this semester, but at the same time really enjoy myself and have fun because, unfortunately, being a senior next year, everything’s going to come to a head.

So you’re looking forward to being in school forever? You are of another breed, my friend.

Yeah.

So, did you watch the Sugar Bowl?

I did watch it. I watched the first half and then the overtime part. I’m not a big football fan.

Did you do anything ceremonious for your game-watching?

No, not really.

My friend and I cracked some Mike’s Hard Lemonades. We like to keep it classy and slightly alcoholic.

I saw on Facebook someone opened champagne right after the game.

Oh, that’s funny! Champagne would also do the trick, but I had to go to work during the second half of the game, so I figured Mike’s was a safe bet. Don’t tell anyone, though.

Yeah, OK.

So do you follow politics at all?

A little bit.

So do you care about the Iowa caucus results?

Not really.

Do you know who won?

I don’t know anything. I should care because it’s the first year I’m going to be able to vote in a presidential election, but …

Oh, me too! Unless you count how I convinced my dad to vote my way in 2008. It was a crowning achievement in my young life, voting by father proxy.

Oh, that’s good.

So where do you think you stand this year?

I’ll for sure have to do research. It’s less than a year now, so I’ll definitely get on that.

Well you should have plenty of time between waking up early for class, cleaning all afternoon, studying all night and applying to grad schools. You should be able to kick back after that and peruse The Michigan Daily for all of your political news needs.

– Alyssa is an LSA junior.

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