Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where we take a non-partisan look at your political decisions.
So, this is perfect. You’re both named Kelly and one of you goes here while the other is from MSU. You’re even wearing green pants!
Kelly 2: Yeah. I had to rep my school!
OK. I won’t hold it against you since it fits the subject for this week’s interview: decisions! So, you’re both probably overwhelmed with decisions lately with the election coming up …
Kelly 1: Elections? What about med school?
Kelly 2: Yeah, and graduate school! I’m here for Prospective Student Day for the Master’s in Social Work Program.
Oh I see, you ladies have more important things …
Kelly 1: The election’s pretty important, but …
But, let’s get down to the real issues. Romney or Obama. Who would you sleep with?
Kelly 1: Obama.
Kelly 1: If he can get Michelle, he can get me.
I can follow that logic. So what about you (Kelly 2)?
Kelly 2: Well, I go for personality, and every time I look at Mitt Romney, I’m just disgusted because he’s such a douchebag, in all honesty.
Well, this is not a non-partisan interview, so by all means, feel free to be honest.
Kelly 2: And Obama’s athletic. Have you seen that man play basketball?
Yes I have. I’ve seen him play basketball with kids, which is really adorable.
Kelly 1: He played with actual pro-basketball players. Which is really cool.
I hadn’t seen that. So, who would you rather get a drink with? Let’s pretend Romney would have a drink for a second.
Kelly 1: Obama. He’d be way more interesting.
Kelly 2: Is that even a question? Obama again.
Well, I’d make the argument for getting a drink with Romney because he claims to have not had a drink before …
Kelly 2: So you want to get him really drunk and listen to his horrible political viewpoints?
Kelly 1: And I could tape it and leak it to the Internet.
Exactly. We’ve got to be strategic with our answers here. So think for a second before you answer this one. Who would you rather go to the mall with?
Kelly 2: I feel like Romney might have better taste.
Kelly 1: Romney might spend more money on me!
Kelly 2: How old are Romney’s kids? I think they’re closer to our age. So he might know our style better.
Kelly 1: Yeah. Obama’s girls are little still.
Do you guys know how old Obama and Romney are?
Kelly 1: No.
Kelly 2: No idea.
Kelly 2: Obama’s pretty young!
Kelly 1: That’s really young for a president.
And Romney’s 65.
Both Kellys: What?
Kelly 2: He looks good for 65.
Kelly 1: I’m glad I said I would sleep with Obama, because I’d definitely rather sleep with a 51-year-old than a 65-year-old.
Kelly 2: That’s literally my grandpa’s age right now we’re talking about.
Kelly 1: That’s a little scary.
Kelly 2: Obama’s got young kids for being that old though.
Kelly 1: But Michelle is hot.
Yeah. Michelle is hot. Would you like to work out with Michelle?
Kelly 1: Yeah! She brought all of the “Biggest Loser” contestants to the White House and worked out with them.
Kelly 2: One of my residents last year was on “The Biggest Loser!”
Kelly 1: Sorry, we’re getting off-topic.
No, it’s cool. I need to do group interviews more often. One more question, and this one is the most important. What should I get for lunch?
Kelly 1: Wendy’s.
Kelly 2: Noodles & Company is my favorite.
And just when I thought we could agree on everything. I’m going to have to go with Wendy’s. I had a bad experience at Noodles. Go Blue!
– Kelly 1 is an LSA senior and Kelly 2 is a senior at Michigan State.