Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where Elle Woods is a globetrotting litigator and you’re still sifting through your mom’s chain e-mails.

Illustration by Megan Mulholland
Illustration by Megan Mulholland

So Hannah, we’re talking about study abroad in this issue. Have you ever studied abroad?

I haven’t studied abroad.

No? Why?

I don’t want to either. I like it here and it seems really stressful to study abroad during school. I want to travel when I graduate instead.

I think that’s very smart. You are a very smart human.

Thank you. I agree.

Well I guess hypothetically, if you could study abroad anywhere — real or fictional — where would it be?

Hmmm … I’m really not sure. I think maybe it would be umm …

It could be a place in a book or movie or you know, Spain, which isn’t really real.

I have no idea. Maybe Italy? Or Spain. Let’s do that.

Like the high-school in “Clueless.” I would study abroad there.

(laughs) I love it.

Not that that’s possible.

Isn’t that in Beverly Hills, though? Not really abroad …

It counts, it totally counts. What if instead of studying abroad somewhere you could choose to study abroad as someone else. Who would it be?

Are these real questions?

Yes! Mine is Cher Horowitz (main character in “Clueless”), obviously.

Well I guess Elle Woods.

That is perfect. Where do you think Elle would study abroad? Probably somewhere fabulous. But I could also see her in the Sudan.

Great question. I see her in a European country, somewhere with a lot of luxury.

I don’t want to be cliché, but probably Paris.


And Werner is somewhere in a ditch.

Bruiser in a beret.

I wonder if it would make her think like a lawyer, really test her dedication to justice.

Absolutely. I think Elle needs the experience more than I do.

She’s been in that Delta Nu bubble for too long. Time to get a Delta new experience.


It seems really harrowing though. You hear the occasional report of kids who get in trouble overseas.

Oh my god. I don’t know what I would do.

Like I’m dying of malaria, and I don’t understand the language and can’t just call my mom.

I don’t know. How you could go without your cell phone?

Exactly. I turn my phone off a lot to avoid talking to people. I feel like that will really bite me in the ass when I’m in real trouble.

What? I could never turn my phone off.

I get so overwhelmed by the text messages and voicemails. It’s so unfounded but panic attacks and cell phone usage have a real positive correlation for me.

No offense but I hate when my friends do that.

I understand! I guess that doesn’t make it any better.

I think it just feels like they’re ignoring you, you know?

Yeah. Wow, I am coming to some deep conclusions about myself.

I just know that when I text a friend and she either doesn’t text me back or takes a long time, it just seems like she doesn’t care.

No, I just wish you wouldn’t assume that! I don’t know, I don’t want to make any sweeping generalizations, but I feel like we put too much stake in electronic responses.

I don’t get to see my friends too much during the week, so for me it means a lot.

I get that. I’m sorry, I totally didn’t mean to offend.

No, it’s fine.

But I think we can agree that phone calls are kind of dead.

I hate when people call me.

There’s something about talking to someone on the phone. So much pressure!

So much pressure! What do I say? What if I don’t know what to say?

Exactly. I babysit, so when my employers call me up, I get really scared that I’ll accidentally swear or say something that will be misconstrued as perverted or psychotic.


I think I love a good e-mail more than anything.

E-mails are kind of annoying.

Really? A well-crafted e-mail is one of the better things in the world.

(laughs) What is a well-crafted e-mail?

So glad you asked. I think it’s kind of ambiguous. I’ve even started to like my mom’s chain e-mails, so maybe I’m not the best one to talk to about it.

My mom will send me cute animal pictures.

I hate that I love them.


I’d say moms are in the category of the top five cutest “anythings” of all time.


Hannah is an LSA junior.

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