Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where our hopes and dreams haven’t been crushed by an overwhelming sense of self-doubt … yet.

Illustrations by Megan Mulholland

So, the semester’s getting underway. You’re a freshman. Feeling the stress yet?

Oh yeah, little bit.

What’s that stress feel like? Give me a descriptor.

A descriptor of stress? Like, I’m always feeling busy… I don’t know. Describing stress, that’s a tough one.

Is it crushing? Are you struggling to stand up straight under the weight?

It’s not crushing. I’d say it’s stretching.

Stretching. That’s a good one. I was just wondering because mine’s more like a crushing sensation. I’m a senior so things are just piling up. You’re a freshman so you must feel like you have everything figured out.

Oh yeah. I’ve got a system worked out now so it’s not so bad. I mean, I’m only taking 13 credits.

Oh, you did it right! Who gave you that great advice?

An Engineering advising person.

OK, good. So, let’s take this opportunity you have with anonymity in this interview to unload some of the things on your mind. This could be a mini therapy session. So vent to me. Is your roommate doing anything annoying?

No. My roommate’s pretty cool. And venting? There’s nothing for me to vent about right now. I don’t know. I love it here so far.

You’re just living a great life. The sun is shining because Matt tells it to shine.

Yeah, I’m just having a great time. I’m very happy.

Get back to me on that in four years.


So where are you headed to know to spread your happiness?

Back to West Quad to chill out. Maybe eat something.

How about that burrito bar?

I’ve actually never tried it.

Seriously? If you think you’re life is good now, wait until you stuff your face with a personalized burrito.

I know. I just don’t want to be disappointed.

Because you have such high hopes?

I’m from California so we have very good Mexican food.

Did you know that the burrito is not Mexican?

No. I didn’t know that.

Apparently it’s not from Mexico. I read it somewhere so it must be true.

Oh, OK.

How do you feel about Chipotle?

It’s fast food Mexican.

It’s not Mexican. We just went over this.

It’s a step up from Taco Bell.

Wait. Let me get this straight. I just realized that you’re happy here even though you’re from California.

Yeah. I mean the weather hasn’t gotten bad yet, but …

You are just too optimistic for me. I take back what I said about coming back to talk to me in four years. Come back and talk to me after the first snowfall.

Yeah, well, I’m planning on moving back there once I’m done with undergrad.

OK, so this is temporarily endurable.

Yeah. It’s like going on an adventure for four years.

An adventure into a wilderness that you can’t get out of and have to pay for and have to do Engineering homework in.

Yeah. And you have to walk five miles uphill to and from school.

Have I broken your spirit yet?


Come talk to me tomorrow and I’ll get the job done.

– Matt is an Engineering freshman.

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