The Michigan Daily: Hi, is Laura there?

Random: This is she.

TMD: Hi, I’m calling from The Michigan Daily and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random Student Interview. Are you up for it?

R: Sure, why not?

TMD: Really?

R: Sure.

TMD: Wonderful. So how it’s going?

R: Pretty good.

TMD: Did you get any good gifts during the holiday season?

R: I got an iPod so that was nice.

TMD: Yeah, that is pretty good. What was the best present you got when you were a little kid?

R: Oh, wow. Um – my trampoline.

TMD: You got a trampoline? Do you still have it?

R: Yes, I do.

TMD: And it’s still as bouncy as ever?

R: Oh yeah, haha.

TMD: So did you ask for the trampoline or was it a surprise.

R: No, I asked for it.

TMD: Why did you want a trampoline?

R: I was a cheerleader/tumbler/gymnast so I wanted to be able to do stuff on it.

TMD: But couldn’t you do that without the trampoline?

R: Well, not really. I could, but it’s more fun with the trampoline.

TMD: Do you ever just jump up and down for fun?

R: Yeah, I do that too.

TMD: Give me your best “Your mama’s so old” joke.

R: Oh my god. Can I ask my roommate?

TMD: Yeah, sure.

R: OK – OK, we have a “Your mama’s so fat” one. Is that OK?

TMD: Yeah, that’s fine.

R: Your mama’s so fat, she used I-75 as a slip and slide.

TMD: Oh! Oh! The roommate came up with that?

R: Yeah.

TMD: Wow, your roommate’s pretty cool. Maybe we should get her on the line, too.

R: Do you want to?

TMD: It doesn’t matter to me.

R: Hold on, hold on – Hello?

TMD: Yeah, who’s this?

R: Kaitlin.

TMD: Hi Kaitlin. You know you’re now doing the Random Student Interview for The Michigan Daily.

R: OK, sweet.

TMD: So you’re the one that came up with that your mama joke, huh?

R: I did.

TMD: That was a pretty good one. Where did you get that one from?

R: I think in elementary school.

TMD: Really? Never happened at my school. What else happened in your elementary school?

R: What else did I do? I kicked boys?

TMD: Why did you kick boys?

R: Because boys have cooties, hahaha.

TMD: Oh, do we still?

R: No that went away.

TMD: When did that go away?

R: I think they went away at age 12 or 13.

TMD: Because then boys became hot?

R: Yeah, pretty much.

TMD: Well, not me. I wasn’t hot until like 19 or 20. What’s the last movie you saw?

R: “The Family Stone.”

TMD: I’ve never heard of that. What’s it about?

R: It’s about a family and one takes his girlfriend home for Christmas to meet the family and it’s kind of disastrous. It’s funny, it’s tear-jerking. I give it two thumbs up.

TMD: Wow. I think I saw that movie. I think it was called “Meet the Fockers.”

R: No no no.

TMD: Now do you want to keep going or do you want to put – Laura, is that her name? – back on.

R: I’ll put Laura back on – Hi.

TMD: Hi, Kaitlin was really nice! Do you two get along quite well?

R: We do. Very well.

TMD: Did you know her when you moved in?

R: No, we went in blind, so it’s a success story.

TMD: So what made you become close? Was there like a defining moment?

R: Not really. We’re just kind of one and the same. We have a lot in common.

TMD: People say that all the time and I don’t really think that’s true. People will be like “I like movies” and someone will be like “Oh, I like movies too!” That’s not really having something in common.

R: But we have weird things in common, though.

TMD: Like what?

R: We like the same foods that people usually don’t like.

TMD: Like what?

R: Like dill pickle chips.

TMD: Dill pickle chips?

R: Yeah. See?

TMD: Well, there you go.

TMD: So Laura – I’m talking to Laura, right?

R: Yeah.

TMD: What’s your favorite comic strip?

R: Calvin and Hobbes.

TMD: What about the Lockhorns?

R: They are pretty funny. I’m not gonna lie.

TMD: Do you want to be like them when you get married?

R: No, they hate each other!

TMD: Yeah, but they’re still married.

R: I know, but they hate each others’ guts.

TMD: Well that’s not so bad! It’s not like he’s cheating on her or anything.

R: OK, well no. I don’t want to be like them.

TMD: OK. So how are classes so far?

R: They’re good.

TMD: Did you do any icebreakers or anything in any of your classes?

R: Well, we just sat around the room and gave our names and a hobby or something.

TMD: Now, let’s say you had to choose an adjective to describe you that starts with the same letter as your name. That’s a common icebreaker. What would you say?

R: Um – loopy.

TMD: Loopy?

R: I can’t think of anything that starts with an L!

TMD: What about Leaping Laura?

R: Yeah, that’ll work.

TMD: What do you think Kaitlin would pick?

R: Kinky Kaitlin. She said kinky.

TMD: Oooh. Oh boy. Maybe you should put her back on the line.

R: Do you want her back on the line?

TMD: It doesn’t matter.

R: Hold on. She’s coming back – Hi.

TMD: Hi, Kinky Kaitlin. How are you?

R: I’m good.

TMD: We’re going to keep going with the interview now. What’s the most bizarre thing you’ve ever eaten? Keep in mind I know about your dill pickle chip fixation.

R: That’s not that bizarre.

TMD: Have you ever had shark? They had shark in the cafeteria one time a couple years ago.

R: Oh, I don’t eat anything that swims. My aunt used to make me macaroni and cheese with frozen peas in it.

TMD: Why?

R: I don’t know. It started when I was young. My aunt just served it to me like that so I got some vegetables and it stuck. It’s really not that bad.

TMD: Are you afraid of anything, like currently?

R: I’m terrified of sharks and bumblebees.

TMD: Were you afraid of anything when you were a little kid?

R: I was afraid of the dark, but who wasn’t?

TMD: Were you afraid the Boogeyman was hiding in your closet?

R: I used to think I had a crocodile under my bed.

TMD: Did you check underneath?

R: Yeah.

TMD: But isn’t that a bad thing to do? If the crocodile was really there –

R: I made my parents check.

TMD: Well, why would you do that? You want your parents to be subjected to being eaten by a crocodile?

R: Better than me! No, I’m just kidding.

TMD: Jeez, Kaitlin! Have your parents ever done anything to embarrass you?

R: My mom always threatens to bring out this picture of me where I’m wearing nothing but her knee-high boots and an umbrella and a sombrero.

TMD: Oh boy. I hope you were a little kid.

R: Oh yeah. No, that was last year, haha.

TMD: Well, sombreros are no longer in style. All right, Kaitlin. I am out of questions. Is there anything you want to add?

R: No, I think we’re good.

TMD: All right. Thank you so much for doing this. Look for it in the magazine on Thursday.


Click here to listen to the podcast of this column.


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