The Michigan Daily: Hi, I’m calling from The Michigan Daily, and you’ve been selected to do this week’s Random Student Interview. Are you up for it?
Random: Yeah, sure.
TMD: Cool. Do you even know what this is?
R: Well, I’ve read The Michigan Daily but not the interview section.
TMD: Yeah, it’s just a thing that appears in the magazine section of the Daily every Thursday. We call somebody and just them a whole bunch of random questions. Do you still want to do it?
R: Sure.
TMD: Great. What’s your name?
R: Alyssa.
TMD: Cool. First question: How was your weekend?
R: Busy.
TMD: What was so busy about it?
R: Homework. Lots of homework.
TMD: Oh, already? And you still do all of it?
R: I try.
TMD: Oh, you will learn, Alyssa, not to do that. What do you think the bigger party error is: vomiting on the host or stealing the keg?
R: Stealing the keg.
TMD: What would make that worse?
R: The party stops.
TMD: Well, not for you.
R: Wait, if I steal the keg? Well, I don’t know. We’ll say vomiting on the host.
TMD: Yeah, that would be worse. Do you have a livejournal or a blog?
R: No.
TMD: Do you ever read other people’s livejournal to see them lamenting about their love life?
R: Not really.
TMD: Why not? It’s very interesting.
R: Because I think sometimes people have livejournals to have people feel sorry for them and get some sympathy. I’ve read some bad livejournals.
TMD: Do you think “Lover’s Lament” is a good name for a song by an emo group?
R: Yeah, I can see it being a song.
TMD: Yeah, unless it has been taken. You never know with these emo groups. Can you think of any other good emo song titles? You can just take a couple of sad sounding words and put them together.
R: Hang on – “Melancholy Massacre.”
TMD: “Melancholy Massacre?” What would that be about?
R: Haha, I have no idea.
TMD: I bet the first line would be like “The battle has been lost” or something like that. What’s your favorite bad movie?
R: What do you mean by bad?
TMD: Like a movie that nobody likes but you really like.
R: “Freaky Friday.”
TMD: Oh, that’s a good one. What did you like so much about it?
R: Chad Michael Murray.
TMD: Oh, and you think he’s – uh –
R: Gorgeous.
TMD: Gorgeous. So say Chad Michael Murray called you up right now. What would you say to him?
R: I really couldn’t say what I wanted to say because he just got married.
TMD: What would you say to him if he wasn’t?
R: Um – I don’t know.
TMD: Come on! This is Chad we’re talking about here.
R: But you’re not Chad.
TMD: Well, right, but we’re pretending that I am.
R: Hmmm – no.
TMD: Why can’t I be Chad Michael Murray? Is my voice not sexy enough?
R: Not quite.
TMD: Well, I’ll work on it. Maybe my voice will change. Have you bought any of Britney Spears’s new perfume?
R: I already have.
TMD: You have? Really? She says that there are hints of cupcakes in it. Is that true?
R: Haha, I haven’t really noticed that.
TMD: Well, you should check that out. Who doesn’t like cupcakes?
R: Cupcakes are delicious.
TMD: But what about in a perfume? Would that be any good?
R: Are you talking about Curious or another kind?
TMD: Oh, I’m talking about Curious.
R: I don’t smell the cupcakes in it.
TMD: Well, maybe Britney Spears is a liar.
R: Maybe she is.
TMD: Have the guys commented on it?
R: A few.
TMD: What do they say?
R: “You smell good.”
TMD: Well, that’s about as deep as guys go. How are your classes working out for you?
R: Not bad.
TMD: Do you have any crazy professors or any hot people in your class? Is there a Chad Michael Murray in any of your classes?
R: Not a Chad Michael Murray.
TMD: What’s a step below Chad Michael Murray? Like Justin Timberlake?
R: Do you know who Brandon Boyd is? He’s the lead singer of Incubus. There’s some of them.
TMD: Oh really? Do you give them the eye?
R: Yeah.
TMD: And what happens?
R: I’ve studied and stuff with some of them.
TMD: Oooh. Do you put on the Incubus when you’re studying to get in the mood?
R: No, not really.
TMD: Well, you should do that. Last question: would you rather be blind or be a midget?
R: Be a midget. Because if I was blind, I wouldn’t be able to look at Chad Michael Murray.
TMD: That is a good answer! A very good answer. OK, that’s it. Thanks for doing this.
R: No problem.
TMD: Take it easy.