The Michigan Daily: Hi, I’m calling from The Michigan Daily and you’ve been selected to do the Random Student Interview. Would you like to do it?
R: Yeah, sure.
TMD: All right, nice. What’s your name?
TMD: All right, Leslie. How was your weekend?
R: It was good.
TMD: And did you do anything exciting?
R: I went to the football game.
TMD: And how’d you enjoy that?
R: It was fun. Really fun.
TMD: Why, did you have some money on Minnesota like I did?
R: No, I was counting on Michigan actually.
TMD: I figured out if you bet on the other team you’re always going to win.
TMD: Are you so sad that you’re not going to go to The Brown Jug anymore?
R: Not that sad, but it was really depressing like the rest of the games don’t matter anymore.
TMD: Have you ever had a weird encounter with a celebrity or with a really lame celebrity?
R: A celebrity? I met Dreamstreet once, but I don’t think that counts, though.
TMD: Yeah, I don’t even know who that is.
R: I met Nick Carter once. Well I saw him. I don’t know if that counts.
TMD: Where’d you see Nick Carter?
R: He came to an old abandoned church that was changed into a nightclub, and it was cool.
TMD: And was he just as hot in person as he in his video?
R: Oh yeah, definitely.
TMD: And were there 13-year-old girls all over him?
TMD: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done while drunk?
R: Oh God. Um, oh man.
TMD: You might want to ask your friends since you probably can’t remember.
R: Is this going to be printed?
TMD: Yeah, but we’ll only have your first name, not your last name.
R: Oh man, there’s so many. I’ve woken up next to someone not knowing their name.
TMD: Had you done anything?
R: I’m sure I had.
TMD: And you couldn’t remember at all?
R: Not at all.
TMD: How’d the guy respond?
R: It was pretty awkward.
TMD: Did you ever talk to him again?
R: Oh, no.
TMD: How about when you see each other, do you give him a little head nod or wave?
R: We don’t pretend we see each other. I’ve only run into him like twice.
TMD: If you could have any superpower what would it be?
R: If I could have any superpower, I would fly. That would be my superpower.
TMD: Why would you want to fly?
R: Because that would be cool.
TMD: Would you be traveling places or are you just trying to be a Peeping Tom?
R: Oh, I just want to fly. Yeah, I’d go everywhere. I’d travel.
TMD: How about the ability to read really fast? Would you be impressed if you met a guy who could do that?
R: Yeah that would be pretty cool, haha.
TMD: How far can you jump?
R: How far can I jump? Maybe five feet.
TMD: All right, can you think of any situation where this information would be useful.
R: I need this information? No I can’t, I’m sorry.
TMD: It’s OK, I don’t know either. If your life were a TV show, what would it be?
R: Um, “Stupid Things Teenage Girls Do.”
TMD: Is that like “Girls Gone Wild?”
R: Yeah, pretty much.
TMD: What’s the dirtiest joke you know?
R: Oh, I don’t know one off the top of my head, sorry.
TMD: How about the best knock-knock joke?
R: Um, the one where you say “orange you glad I didn’t say banana.”
TMD: All right, here’s a hypothetical situation. You’ve got to do one of the two. If you had to have sex with the ugliest person in the world – like a 95-year-old, just dirty, with boils all over him and weighing like a lot – or have sex with the best looking gorilla in the world, which would you choose?
R: Hmm. Probably the ugly person. I’m sorry.
TMD: It’s all right, I guess you wouldn’t be breaking any laws, too. Do you know what you’re going to be for Halloween?
R: I want to be – I don’t know – probably a Playboy Bunny or something along the lines of that.
TMD: And what were you last year?
R: Last year I think I was a cheerleader.
TMD: And were you like a hot cheerleader?
R: Oh yeah. Of course.
TMD: And did your dad know you dressed up as that?
R: Oh no, no, no.
TMD: All right, well that’s all the questions I have. Thanks a lot and look for this on Thursday.
R: That was really random.
TMD: Yeah, that’s kind of the point.