Welcome to the Random Student Interview. What’s up with the fountain by the Union?

Illustrations by Megan Mulholland

Hey! Got a minute?

Like literally a minute? Because I’m late for my friend’s birthday party.

OK. More like two or three. I’m sorry I lied. Will you forgive me?

OK. Let’s hurry it up though.

All right. And let’s move over here because I don’t know what’s up with that fountain. It’s been spraying water like 10 feet in the air.

Yeah, you should probably go find someone after this. I don’t have time or I would.

OK. But first, let’s talk about boys.

Boys? What about them?

Oh, you know. Boys. What boy comes to mind when I say that?

One Direction.

Boy band. I’ll take it. So, no specific, real-life boy drama, contact, turmoil going on?

No. Actually, I live in an all-girl floor and I was just thinking about how I wish more boys were around because they’re fun.

Oh man, I stopped the wrong person. All-girl floor? Lame.


Really? What’s wrong with girls?

I mean nothing, but …

So, whose birthday are you going to? Boy or girl?

Girl. Her name’s Jill.

Where’s the party?

It’s not a party, we’re just going to dinner.

Where are you going?

Seva’s or something. I don’t know how to pronounce it. It’s the vegetarian restaurant.

Oh. That’s not girly at all. Guys can be vegetarians too. It’s good there. I had some vegan pancakes. You can’t really mess with pancakes though. Are you going to get pancakes?

Probably not.

OK. I’ll let you go. I’m going to find someone about that freaky fountain.

– Kelli is an LSA freshman.

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