Hey! Would you like to be in the Random Student Inter —

Illustrations by Megan Mulholland

I would, but I don’t think I can be in it twice.

What? When were you in it before?

I was walking by here last week and this guy stopped me …

Oh, Brandon?

Yeah. He’s intense.

Yeah, that’s Brandon. Thanks for stopping again. You must have a very approachable face.

Yeah, no problem. Good luck! (walks away)

Hey! How about you? Would you like to be in the Random Student Interview?

The what?

For The Michigan Daily. It’s supposed to be fun!

How long is this going to take?

Three minutes, tops.

OK.

Yay! Great! Thanks for stopping. Now, normally this is where I’d ask you your name and year and school and all that, but I thought it’d be fun today if I could guess all that. OK?

OK.

Then maybe you can guess some stuff about me. Your name is Brittany.

No.

Jennifer?

You were closer with Brittany.

Closer … Brianna?

Yeah!

I got it on like the third try! That’s so awesome! So now, you are a junior.

No. I get that a lot though.

Senior?

Fifth-year senior.

Wow. OK. Let me think. Then what are you studying? Fifth-year senior, so it’s probably something hard …

OK.

Do you think it’s hard?

It’s just obscure. Not hard, exactly.

Obscure. OK. Organizational Studies?

No.

That ‘obscure’ thing has me completely thrown off. Wait! Is it in the School of Music, Theatre & Dance?

Yes!

Yes? Oh my gosh! I’m so good at this! Well, you do look creative.

Thanks.

OK, let’s see how far my clairvoyance goes. You are going to the Union because you want some Wendy’s.

No, that’s not good for you.

Really?

Yeah, I try not to eat it.

Not even a salad from Wendy’s?

The salads aren’t that great.

So you want a veggie sub from Subway?

Sure.

See, I’m good at advertising and promotions as well.

No.

Fine. What are you going into the Union for?

I’m meeting up with some friends.

Let’s see what you can extrapolate about me.

Are you in Art & Design?

No. I wish I had those talents.

Oh, are you in social change/community-type stuff? Like sociology or psychology?

No.

Org studies?

No. You’re stealing my answers.

Haha OK. Are you in LSA?

Yeah! Well, it is the biggest school here, but you still win. What year do you think I am?

Junior?

Higher.

Senior! I was thinking senior, but I was like, “No, she has a young face.”

Well, thank you. I’m glad I could pass for 20. I’ll let you get to your friends now. I’m going to go work on my intuitive powers.

— Brianna is a Music, Theatre & Dance senior.

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