Welcome to the Random Student Interview, where honesty is the best policy.

Illustrations by Jeff Zuschlag

Relay for Life is coming up. Are you going to participate?

Probably not. I participated sophomore year as a requirement for my sorority, and I don’t think it was something I’d like to repeat.

(Laughs) You know it’s for cancer, right?

Yeah, maybe don’t put that in there …

It’s OK. Honesty is the best policy. But what happened that made you not want to do it again?

I don’t even remember what it was. I was so high I blacked it out. I don’t remember anything except getting candy everywhere and it was beautiful and I wanted to lay on the grass. I didn’t feel like walking.

Wow. You really are taking the “honesty” thing seriously. Well, maybe since you blacked it out, you’d want to sign up this year and make some memories. It’s actually pretty fun. There’s food and cool booths set up.

Yeah. Maybe I’ll go super sober, get some exercise and then get high as a reward.

That’s definitely one way of looking at it. Do you do anything that doesn’t involve marijuana?

(Laughs) Yes. Sorry, I came on a little strong there. This is mildly inappropriate. Let me think. I usually go to class not-high and homework I do not-high. Um, sometimes I work out and go to the movies, but yeah, I do that when I’m high.

Nice.

I like to shop – definitely no-high – or else you get overwhelmed and there are so many choices. So yeah, shopping is one. I love live music, which may or may not involve marijuana.

That’s great! I hope I’m not making you feel bad about this. No judgments, seriously. It’s college.

Yeah, I figure once I graduate, my habits will totally nose-dive. It’s not cool to go to work stoned silly. And I want to be a real person, not some loser who can’t do anything without being high first. I guess I’m trying to pack it all in now before graduation. But really…

Well, at least you have your priorities straight. This isn’t meant to be some kind of intervention. More power to you.

Thanks, I appreciate it. I’m sorry if you’re going to have to re-do this. It must be super awkward to ambush people and have over-sharers like myself.

It’s actually the highlight of my day. No sarcasm. I’m into super awkward situations and ambushing and over-sharers, or else I wouldn’t be doing this. Plus, I like meeting new people especially at a university of this size.

Yeah. It must be kind of cool to meet someone new every day.

Too bad it’s anonymous. I feel like the Random Student Interviews could also be an insight into a new person that you’d want as a friend. Like, attach the person’s e-mail if you wanna hang out.

(Laughs) I think it’s a good thing this is anonymous. Especially because I’d probably get an influx of e-mails from people who want to blaze with me and that’s just annoying. Find me on Hash Bash if you want.

–Sami is an LSA senior.

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