Welcome to the Random Student Interview Green Edition! We’re in the Samuel “Treehugger” Dana Building, an environmentally friendly place that used absolutely NO paper during its construction. What’s your name?


Do you think that the theory of global warming should be taught in public schools?

Yeah, for sure.

Please prove global warming in 10 words or less.

Um, ice melt, homeless polar bears —

There have to be verbs in there.

No coat necessary in November.

Some say the green movement was started by hipsters. Your rebuttal?

I’d say it was started by science dorks.

But it’s pretty cool to be green.

I think it’s cool that it’s trendy.

How do you think the concept of sustainability goes against the spirit of America?

America’s always about growth, and bigger is better —

So it’s threatening our way of life.

I mean…threatening capitalism…people don’t take a lot of risks into account.

I don’t think Americans in the past ordered immigrants to build this nation of ours with the message, “Oh, don’t cut down those trees! Hey, don’t pollute those rivers!” Do you think that nowadays we’re going against that?

Well, I think that realistically you can’t just keep going at an unbridled pace. You’re going to run out of space. You’re going to run out of resources.

How wasteful do you try to be every day?

Do I try to be? Minimally.

I see one, two, three, four, five plastic things from here –

(Laughs.) I’ve got Wendy’s in the Dana Building. But I don’t drive a car and I recycle and —

I’ve heard they just throw recyclables away.

I’ve heard that, too. But you’ve got to try to think a little positively. What about when we run out of space?

We have plenty of — I mean, America’s the biggest country in the world. I think. We have Alaska to put extra people in, and Death Valley. But next question: Last time I checked, there’s no animal or plant heaven, so why should we care about destroying other species?

I think that everything is interconnected, so if you lose too many species…

Moving on: Scientists tell us that the level of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is nearly 400 parts per million. Just how did they find 400 little molecules out of the other millions of molecules out there?

They spent a lot of time looking for them.

Thought experiment: If we saved all the forests and all the lakes and all the animals and all the plants – essentially, if we saved everything in nature, which is the mission of the green movement – how would we value nature?

I think if you got to see it all the time that you would be a happier person and your quality of life would go up.

Well, I will say this: “Ferngully” is one awesome movie.

I agree.

Up until the end, of course, which is kind of a downer. You shouldn’t stop progress.

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